Rediscovery

It’s been a while. Again. Sometimes I find it very hard to update this. I’m not sure if it’s a matter of time or one of inclination. Sometimes it feels like I just don’t have anything new or useful to day.

Today starts my week of being Ashley. Not exactly, but in terms of scheduling. So I’m closing today, opening Monday, closing Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, and doing 7:15-4:15 on Thursday. A bit more complicated than my normal start times of 8:15 or 8:45. and next Thursday I’m babysitting while the parents have a Ready for School info session. The really odd part is that I saw the list of families signed up for babysitting and at least half of them are toddlers. They have two more years to worry about this! But whatever. At least with toddlers I know what’s expected of me. And it’s about time I did some kind of extra-curricular helping out. I have told the entire toddler team now that I’ll be leaving, most likely in early May, so I want them to see that I haven’t checked out quite yet. I’ve been working my ass off all week on portfolios for my primary kids, especially the three I have that started in October and November. We’re hitting the six-month mark right about now, which means I need to do their conferences. I also have three other primaries, but they started in December, January, and February. I’ll obviously do conferences for them before I leave, but they’re not quite as pressing. I’m hoping to finish the first three portfolios this weekend. I don’t have anything else pressing, so it should be do-able.

Last Friday we had a night out with the moms of the Parent Advisory Committee, which was actually a lot of fun. P’s mom was buying everyone shots, which was hilarious, and I learned some pretty interesting things about a few of the moms. It marked the start of a weekend full of rain and nastiness, but it was a great way to start. I drove Gina and Annie and we had fun on the ride too. I was surprisingly fine to drive, despite two glasses of wine and two shots. I know it was still stupid, but I really wasn’t even buzzed.

My mom came down the next day, which was nice. We did some shopping and had dinner out for my birthday. The storm completely knocked out a lot of the area’s power, but not mine. Never mine. I think the power’s gone out once in the last five years and only for a few minutes. The traffic light at this end was blinking for a few days, but it’s no big deal. Fairfield County got the worst of it. There are still towns without power and schools have been closed all week in some towns. Wish it had been Trumbull. A week off would have been nice. But the weather has been beautiful since Tuesday, and we’ve spent a lot of time outside. I know it’s a bit of a tease, but I’ll take it.

I’ve read before that although it’s hard to be apart during training and deployments, it can also be good for a marriage, because it allows partners to be most fully themselves. I’m realizing now that it’s true. I’m feeling more myself and remembering what I liked and wanted. I mean, the basics are still the same — the beliefs, the values, the politics, the habits. But instead of listening to music that reminds me of Alan, I’m rediscovering the bands and the styles I used to like. Instead of dressing how I think I should, I’m dressing for me. A little punk, a little bohemian, a lot of casual. I’m remembering that I like to dance. LOL! I know I didn’t forget that, but I think I’d like to go out and do it more often. Or at all. In  May, Bright Horizons is hosting their Awards of Excellence dinner at Mohegan Sun and I think Erica, Gina, and I are going to get a room and hit the casino after the official stuff is over. Drink, dance, gamble, and have fun. Something before I leave, ya know?

I was going to try to fly out to Arizona over the Easter weekend, but Alan doesn’t have a long weekend, and it’s a lot of money for a day and a half. I still have that Thursday off, and if I can get Zach to check in on the kitties, I’ll probably go up to Vermont to see my parents. I am still having very naughty fantasies about Zach, which is a little comical and a little awkward. I mean, it’s not like I see him all that often. And I don’t like to impose myself on him because I feel like I’d be… I don’t know… imposing! LOL! Getting in the way of his life when maybe he just sees me as a sister-type.

I’ve been very bad about the gym this week, but I’m still losing weight, which is frickin’ awesome. I’ll be better next week. Anyway, I need to brush my teeth and get to work.

~Liz