Rawr!

Why am I awake? More importantly, why have I been awake for the last two and a half hours?!

I’m so tired that my eyes are crossing and yet something in my brain switched on at 3:15 this morning and hasn’t switched off. It’s really fucking aggravating. And it only seems to happen on days when Alan doesn’t have to get up early. I can’t imagine why this would be because in going to sleep at night, I usually have a hard time falling asleep if he’s not in bed with me. So why should I have a hard time staying asleep when he is?

It doesn’t help that my back was one solid ache by about 4:00 either. I’ve been waking up so miserably stiff the last few days and for no discernible reason. The only thing I can guess is that the weight of my belly is pulling the muscles in my back into contortions they don’t like. I wish I could sleep on my stomach, but that’s gotten to the point where it’s uncomfortable. What sucks is that rolling onto my stomach was always a guaranteed way to fall asleep when I was tossing and turning.

Let me just say that between the backaches, the pain when I walk, the general puffiness and pallor, I am so done being pregnant. I’m not glowing. I’m just miserable. I do still want more than one child, but I wish I could have had twins and gotten them both out of the way at once. LOL.

I think what’s really bothering me about my lack of sleep is that this is the first opportunity I’ve had to go to a check-up without having to drag my carcass out of bed at 4:30 to drop Alan off at work. I wanted to see what my blood pressure would look like with a full night’s sleep, since it’s been on the high side. So of course the one chance I get and I’m awake even earlier. I think I got about 5 hours. Fuck.

On the plus side, my anatomy scan and 20-week check-up are both today. The ultrasound is at 10 and the check-up is at 11:40. So we’ll be killing a bit of time, but it will give us both a chance to call our parents and let them know if it’s a boy or a girl. I’m excited to find out, but that part of me that worries is worrying that something will be wrong. Of course, if they told me they were testing me for bubonic plague I would worry that I had it despite having no symptoms of it at all. There has been nothing wrong with this pregnancy except some joint discomfort and there is absolutely no reason for me to think that something will go wrong. I just need to keep telling myself that.

Alan and I watched the last inning of Game 2 last night after periodically checking the score during commercial breaks. It made me wonder, seeing all those fans and hearing all that noise, if the players ever wish they could just come out to an empty stadium and play a game. I mean, playing professional baseball is basically the go-to dream of every 9-year-old boy in the country… how many of the guys who actually grow up and realize that dream sometimes wish they could go back to being kids playing a simple game?

Someone asked on my baby board the other day if anyone looked like a celebrity. Before I got all puffy and pregnant, most people used to tell me I looked like Drew Barrymore. I think it was truer when she was younger. The planes of her face seem to have sharpened in recent years. But I definitely see it. The picture of me is from last summer, probably not long after we’d moved here in the very brief period when I was a redhead. I’d been going for a caramel brown color. Oh well.

Totally random.

Anyway.

Every time I see a trailer for the movie "Immortals" I can’t help but think of this scene from Blackadder Back & Forth with the skirts getting shorter and shorter.