I’m Restless… Just Rambling

It’s after 3 AM now and I have yet to sleep. It’s upsetting, but I know that the more I dwell on it, the less likely it will be that I’ll sleep at all tonight. Normally when I’m having problems sleeping, it’s a matter of waking up in the middle of the night, unable to get back to sleep. So far I haven’t slept at all.

For the last couple months, I’ve been involved in the Ft. Carson Community Theater again. We’re doing "Arabian Nights" and it’s not going well. My involvement is, but the show itself is not. Kevin, the director, and Danielle, the (former) assistant director, were having some issues getting everything started, organized, and cast. They had problems keeping people and there were so many issues with getting the scripts (and therefore the rights to do the show), that they ended up having to push everything back two weeks. Because of the scheduling changes, Danielle had to drop out of the assistant director position. She’s still in high school and her mother wasn’t comfortable with that kind of time commitment so far into the school year. Understandable. Frank stepped up to fill that place. Unfortunately, Kevin really doesn’t know what he’s doing. And because he’s wasted people’s time, people have been dropping out of the show. It’s not just his fault, because there are scheduling issues with multiple units getting ready to deploy and all the training that goes with it, but I can’t say he’s not a really big part of it.

He’s just unreliable about certain things. I’m doing costumes. I volunteered with the utterly clear statement that I would be leaving at the end of September and I could not do it alone. It took constant badgering from me before he contacted Jane, the woman who did the costumes for "Legally Blonde." I would have been perfectly happy to contact her myself, but he wouldn’t give me her contact information. Yet he acted like having that extra task was particularly onerous and he just didn’t have time. Then he told me that Jessica had volunteered to help with costumes and I said "Really? That’s great. I wish she’d said something to me so I could have filled her in." The next night he asks me "What happened to your friend?" Like I was somehow the one she’d contacted about doing costumes. I honestly doubt she ever even offered.

So what with constant cast changes, getting the costumes together has been stressful. We’re making progress though. Jane is doing a couple minor alterations to Scheherezade’s costume, but it’s done. The people who have the most costume changes are also done. Mostly I have to grab the people who normally spend their time practicing bellydancing with Julianne and get those minor roles costumed, particularly the kids. The only kid I have completely costumed is Anna, who is playing Dunyazade, Scheherezade’s little sister. I’m making some of the costumes, collecting and altering pieces for others. Fortunately, the bellydancers are responsible for their own costumes and Julianne is getting her own costume together for her speaking role. I am a bit concerned about one of the younger bellydancers. She’s adamant about wearing her bellydance costume, but if it’s the one she came to the auditions in, it’s wildly inappropriate. The top is basically a string bikini. The bottom is a single-layer, sheer handkerchief skirt with a bikini bottom underneath. This girl is only 10.

One of the most upsetting cast changes to me is the loss of Adam. He played Callahan in "Legally Blonde" and he’s very good. He was supposed to the Madman, but I think he’s been back and forth so much with training exercises and some medical issues with his wife that he doesn’t feel like he can commit to the show. I admit that I’ve got a bit of a crush on him. We’ve always kind of clicked, right from the time we spent backstage while we waited to audition for "Legally Blonde." And it was nice to have a familiar face my own age. The rest who came back and were able to commit are all younger. Jen was going to do the show along with her two girls, but she’s been having health problems, too. Fortunately Adam’s kids are still going to be involved. Otherwise we would have lost Dunyazade and Sympathy’s brother. The brother isn’t a huge part, but it’s in a story that has a lot of cast members already. I’m not sure we could have replaced him easily.

I don’t know how healthy it is for me to be always developing these crushes on random guys, but they’re fun. And bonus! My libido has definitely made a come back. It only took, what? 18 months? Plus most of my pregnancy. After all, does it really matter that it’s the thought of Adam pinning me against the wall of the wardrobe room that turns me on when the result is great sex with my husband? I don’t hear him complaining (not that I’m sharing the details of that fantasy).

So obviously I’m disappointed that there won’t be anymore flirtatious looks and jokes during rehearsals to fuel that fire.

Things at home are fine. Pippa is almost 18 months and pretty off the wall. She loves to be outside, to go places, and see people. She’s constantly bringing me either my shoes or hers in an attempt to get me to take her somewhere. It’s been unpleasantly hot lately, so I’ve been very resistant to the idea of walking anywhere. She’s starting to show some interest in the toilet and she wakes up dry from her naps fairly often. On the one hand, I’d like to put potty training off until AFTER the three days of driving to Ft. Lewis. On the other, I don’t want to miss a window of opportunity where she’s ready and able to do it easily. She talks enough that I’m not worried about her development, but mostly it’s still gibberish. She does say cat (cah or cas), dog (dah), baa, touch (tuss), hot (hos), glasses (gashes), eyes, mouth (mao), toes, bear (beh), teeth (teess), and stat, which I’m pretty sure is "what’s that." She also listens very well and seems to learn quickly. She consistently impresses me with her recognition of print. She took a book off the bookshelf the other day, flipped it, and put it back so that it was right side up. She’s recently become obsessed with letters, but everything is either S or H to her. She just points to them and says one of those while I correct her until she gets one right. She also holds a pencil properly, which she technically shouldn’t be able to do. So yay for that.

Mostly we’re getting ready to move to Washington. I’m looking forward to not baking constantly. I don’t think the heat here would be half so unbearable if we were at a lower altitude where the sun wasn’t so brutal. It’ll be nice to be in rainforest after all this high prairie/steppe craziness. My dad is coming to visit next Thursday, since otherwise it might be quite a while before he sees us again. We’re not going back to Connecticut for Christmas this year, since we’ve gone the last two years. My mom will probably come out in the spring and Lisa, Kurt, Kerry, and Peter are coming to Washington for Thanksgiving since Alan’s aunt and cousins live about 45 minutes outside Seattle. It’ll be nice to have a big Thanksgiving again and a quiet Christmas, especially since I don’t have to travel for either of them.

Alan and I have decided to start trying to get pregnant again. It took a long time with Pippa and while it might not this time around, I do want to have them be 2-3 years apart. Even if I got pregnant right away, that would still mean Pip was two before the next one came along. My current name obsession for a girl is Caroline, with the nickname Caddy. I like Penny too, but Pippa and Penny? A little too much. Plus I want to use Laine for a middle name for a girl, after my friend Erica. Penny Laine… yeah, no.

It’s 4 AM now. I don’t feel particularly tired, but I suppose I could go back to bed and read. I know I say this every time, but I will try to keep up with everyone and update more. I haven’t completely given up on OD and gone over to ProseBox, but I might start an account over there, just in case.

~Liz