Getting Better

Alan continues to surprise me about all things baby-related. It seems like he’s done a lot more research and talking to people about this than I ever suspected. He wants to make sure that he’s here for as much of the baby’s first year because he’s read that year one is the best time for baby to bond with daddy. It’s hard to believe that it wasn’t so long ago that he was telling me "eventually" and "someday." Of course, I am having a hard time believing it so I spend a lot of time asking if he’s really sure. He says he is, so I guess he is.

I called both numbers I got from Tricare for medication management. I had to leave a message for the psychiatric nurse who practices near me, and I hope she calls me back soon so I can get an appointment. I also called the practice across town and I wasn’t all that impressed. I had to prompt the receptionist to give me a lot of the information that should have been automatic like where I could get the new patient paperwork and if I needed to return it in person or I could fax it. I also got a negative feeling from the new patient paperwork. For one thing, it consisted of the exact same questions that should be asked in the initial session. For another, it pretty much only covered mania and depression symptoms and some family history. As if bipolar disorder is the only thing they treat or the only reason anyone ever needs medication. They also don’t provide therapy services. That kind of bothers me because yes, I primarily need medication management, but if something is going on in my life at the moment, I want to be able to talk it out with a doctor I see on a regular basis. They also require a week’s notice on refill requests and I would have to have the pharmacy fax a refill request instead of calling my doctor and them calling the prescription into the pharmacy. Like I said, I just don’t get warm fuzzies from this place. I filled out all the paperwork, but I may actually have to call Tricare back and get some new names and numbers.

Either way, I have a week’s worth of my prescription left. I’m probably going to start cutting my pills in half so I can get off the drugs entirely.  I’d really like to be under a doctor’s care, but I’ll go it alone if I need to. I’m not in a particularly stressful situation. And because it’s fall and the days are still bright and pretty long, I think I could avoid the worst symptoms. There’s also a lot to be happy about. It’s not like I don’t experience any emotional variations at the moment. I’m on a very low dose of lamotrigine and I have a lot of coping skills… working with kids will do that. Still, I’d like to get an appointment with a psychiatrist soon so that if anything does happen, I can figure out some safe options. Stupid cross-country move and having to leave Dr. Begum who was freakin’ awesome!

Anyway, I’ve spent the last few days reorganizing our second bedroom to make room for guests/ a baby. Alan put up some shelves and I got rid of one of our terrible Ikea armoires and added a couple extra shelves to the other. Art supplies are now in the closet and outdoor gear is in the armoire, looking perfect. Kids books are on the shelves along with stuffed animals. The keyboard is still out, but could be put in the closet if necessary. And there’s just enough room for the air mattress for when family comes to visit. We could use the futon (still no real sofa), but Alan doesn’t want to disturb anyone with his crazy early departures.

We’re also going out sometime this weekend with a guy from Alan’s unit and his wife, which I’m excited about because I still know absolutely no one out here, and that gets hard sometimes. I’ve never met either of them. I hope they’re nice. LOL… I hope they like me! I know Alan has had a hard time making friends out here too, because he really doesn’t have much in common with a lot of them. The people he got along with best during training were people from urban areas and especially the northeast, which isn’t all that surprising. People here apparently find him arrogant because of the way he talks and actually enunciates words, which is pretty crazy, because he doesn’t enunciate anymore than the average Connecticutian. So he’s not arrogant, just a yankee. My cousins always told me I talked funny, too.

Anyway, I wanted to post some pictures of our place now that everything is unpacked and properly arranged, but I can’t find the good camera, so I’ll probably post them tomorrow.

~Liz