Cold Nose, Warm Heart

Another short week of work is now over. Joyful joyful! It hasn’t been too bad either. On Monday our numbers were pretty low and I ended up covering lunches for the preschool teachers. Tuesday was mellow. Julia was sick, which meant she didn’t get to do our holiday project, which kinda sucks. She also didn’t get her present from Gina and me, but it’ll still be there next week. Today was a little aggravating. We have one boy who just sort of shows up whenever his parents feel like bringing him. His brother is in Ashley and Semire’s room, but he’ll be going to preschool in a month or so. Now, most centers have a set time beyond which you shouldn’t be dropping your child off for the day unless you’ve called to let them know. It’s usually between 9 and 10 in the morning. Not so at our center. This kid walked in at 12:50 pm. What the hell is that about? The last few late sleepers were trying to settle down for nap and Mom just comes strolling in with some BS about the doctor. Are you kidding me? So of course it took Gina forever to get him settled down (he’s a bit of a crier as it is), then when I came back from my lunch break he woke up crying because he obviously had no idea where he was. I picked him up and walked with him a little until he relaxed and put him back on his cot. Fortunately, he went back to sleep. I just don’t understand these parents. Interestingly enough, the ones who should be most grateful for the lengths we go to to accommodate their craziness are the least generous. They’re the only ones who didn’t give us so much as a Christmas card.

I’ve been feeling strange lately. I find myself missing the person I used to be. I want to wear black again. And funky tough girl jewelry. To pierce my tongue, my eyebrow, my lip. To get tattoos. Listen to loud music that makes me drive way too fast. Hehehe… I’m suddenly in rebellion from domesticity. I suspect it has a lot to do with the idea of being an Army wife. I know that the wives come in as many incarnations as the soldiers themselves, but it’s more to do with the whole military idea. I don’t know. Suddenly I’m just obsessed with being young while I still am.

In that same vein, I’ve found myself thinking more about guys who fit that mold. Alan did once, but at the moment he’s pretty devoted to his Army values. I know it’s just a phase, but my mind and my eyes wander. I’m trying not to beat myself up about it, but I totally found myself wondering the other night what it would feel like to run my fingers and maybe even my tongue over Zach’s tattoos… more specifically the one on his chest. Yes, that Zach. Alan’s younger brother. The one I’ve known since he was about 13. It’s a weird thing to wonder, I know, but I do all the same. And can I admit something? I’ve thought he was cute from day one. I mean, yes, he was 13, but it was already painfully obvious how sexy he was going to be. And he is. So try not to be too harsh. LOL!

Anyway, I feel like I haven’t slept in quite a few days I’ve been so busy. I need to get a few more little stocking stuffer type things for Alan tomorrow morning, but then I’m done. I’ll have to do some shopping for dessert ingredients tomorrow, but mostly I’m done. Alan and I are going to go by my aunt’s house downtown tomorrow afternoon or evening sometime, then spend Friday in Waterbury. I can’t wait for all this holiday stuff to be over. I just want to spend some time with Alan without having anything to do or anywhere to be.

~Liz