A Marvelous Night for a Moondance

Saturday night with nothing to do. Alan is watching Jurassic Park in the living room, and I am sitting here on the computer, perusing various job search sites in the hopes of finding something that doesn’t sound too soul-crushingly awful. There are just so many issues going on at work right now that I can’t even begin to describe all of them. Significantly, I have a sneaking suspicion that Alisa might be an idiot. I mean, I know that the field doesn’t always attract the brightest bulbs, but she actually had to think about it before she could say for certain that a nap from 12:30-2:00 is an hour and a half. Really. She struggled.  And I’m not sure she really knows her job. I was talking to her about the impracticality of expecting me to plan a lesson that can cater to both a 15-month-old and a 3-year-old and she felt the need to point out that when she did some other job for a West Haven community group, she was planning lessons that had to reach kindergarteners through 5th graders (and another comment on her idiocy… she didn’t know that 5th graders are 10/11. If kindergarteners are 5 and you add 5 years to that… ::shakes head::) Well, I hate to break it to ya, hun, but there’s a vast developmental difference between a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old. That same gulf just doesn’t exist in the elementary ages. For one thing, school-age kids can generally be safely relied upon to use the bathroom on their own and play with only small interventions and directions. Toddlers need CONSTANT intervention and direction. Fucking moron.

I’m just… pissed off, mostly. I don’t really know what to do anymore. I know what I’d like to do. Something that’s really always appealed to be is working at a place like Old Sturbridge Village (or Colonial Williamsburg, for those of you outside of New England). Getting dressed up in historical gear, and really bringing history to life. Unfortunately, places like that are few and far between. Alternately, I wouldn’t mind working in any type of museum, provided it wasn’t in the retail sector. Not many of those places are hiring either, at least not locally.  ::sigh:: If I asked my mom, I know she’d suggest looking for a position as a bank teller. She’s a big advocate of that, having done it herself. Of course, at this point, I’d have to buy an entirely new set of dress pants because Pam’s decree that we can’t wear nice durable jeans is wearing holes in the knees of my slacks. Fuck her.

Sorry… I really didn’t mean this to be such a miserable entry. It was just a really shitty week. I’ll try to be a little peppier.

So turning to the bright side of life.

I have nothing whatsoever that requires immediate attention this weekend. I deposited my paycheck, picked up a few books at the library, gave my dress and shoes to the Goodwill, and did some excellent grocery shopping. I’m looking forward to the dinners I have planned for the week, starting tomorrow with braised chicken with baby vegetables and peas. And I’ve got two vegetarian meals on the menu, whether Alan likes it or not. Hehehe… Chunky Veggie Lasagna and California Black Bean Burgers. Yum.

I also did some drawing today. Dina has recruited my artistic talents for a mural of sorts in the hall and I finished up the outline for the last little boy and started coloring it with colored pencils. It’s about the only enjoyable thing I do for that damn place. I remember once upon a time I drew for my own amusement.

Sometimes I wonder if I was ever cut out for all this. I don’t even really know what "this" means. I just know that there has to be something for me to put myself into. Something that makes work seem not so much like work. I just haven’t found it yet, I suppose. I’ll keep looking though.

~Liz