An illegal smile

It’s a few steps later into 2021, not many mind you, not far enough to shake off the stench of 2020. That’d be both funnier and more profound if were sitting next to me. The shower drain was backed up, I poured draino into it, I’ve used every kind of snake shy of a live one. Plumber coming Wednesday. Draino stench on second floor. Um, my room alternates between smelling like weed and like stuff to cover up the smell of weed (although patchouli sends me into flashback spins and enough nag champa and who needs weed?).

I don’t know why folks are surprised Trump went ahead and did what he said he was going to do … Oh. Yeah. I hear it now. Still. He’s been ducking the peaceful transition question since 2017, he’s been setting up his Fake Election results since 2019, he has never in his life been a gracious loser, or, shit, a gracious winner, or; the man has no grace, not literal, not figurative. The question isn’t how did he think it was going to end or how his minions of darkness thought it was going to end, the question, honestly, is how you thought it would end. No, scratch that, the question to ask today is How Much More Happy Horse Shit Is Left To Endure? Here is an easy Mnemonic device;

 

 

Holy

Moldy

Men –

Hounds

Harboring

Shit-balls

Intravenously

Like

Tender

Elves

Although the skeleton key kind of mnemonic device for the past four years is Fuck;

 

Fuck

fUck

fuCk

fucK

 

Weed. I’ve successfully harvested four plants now. The offering is meager but I’m so proud of myself for not killing them (um, I did plant more than 4). I have killed many houseplants. I have baby sat houseplants for friends and killed them. I have babysat for friends’ cats. They fared much better, goldfish too. For some reason I relate to weed plants, even the ones I didn’t harvest most of them lived, they were male though and I was so excited they were alive I didn’t kill them soon enough to not pollinate two of my four plants.

 

Right now, I have four strong seedlings from a landrace strain that the grower insists are feminized. The strain is Acapulco. I wish it was a genuine landrace, but it’s close enough. Landrace is the fancy name for Old School, sort of. My idea of old school is different; I think Acapulco Gold from early seventies, this strain seems to be from the eighties and a US strain.

 

Nixon effectively killed off the Mexican Weed business by spraying the fields with paraquat. Fucker. So, this Old school strain is a lot more potent but for all the terpene taste connoisseur shit in the industry today, it doesn’t taste as good. It’s like the difference between 18 y/o Glenmorangie and 10 o’clock moonshine. The moonshine will probably get you fucked up quicker, but …

 

Anyhow, they are hearty seedlings, cuter than shit, good color and hopefully all chicks. I’ve upped my lighting game. You don’t really need all those really fancy lights although the real fancy ones have full spectrum and that’s a good idea. I’ve got smaller full spectrum, much less expensive and much more strategically placed. I didn’t get a fancy tent with a fancy ventilation and fancy carbon circulation. I’ve got a powerful 15-dollar vornado style fan in a closet and a mushroom grow in a bag (I could have done shit, but shit in a bag seemed too much like, well, shit in a bag, and seriously, hasn’t America had enough shit in a bag?) My lighting came from Amazon who sells everything from very fancy to pure bollocks.

 

I’ve got two Burple bulbs in flood light reflective holders and two LED full spectrum square ones, all are hung on lowering ropes a bit like climbing ropes, all combined 50 bucks. Oh yeah, the mushroom bag was 15 bucks. Shit in a bag could have been free. I’m full of the stuff. But, and I can’t stress this enough, it’s shit in a bag. Also, the one closet already has mirror so I haven’t had to use the mylar tarp (80” x60” x72”) yet. The grow box (including pots, rocks, air, air hoses, spigot, water level thing, useless nutrients, rock wool and spongy peat moss stuff and things I’m probably forgetting) was $125. Oh, and excellent nutrients the three mainstays were something like fifty bucks for a liter (I think) of the mainstays for vegetative, and around 20 for pints of the special flowering stage accelerating nutrients oh and $30 for a liter each of root protecting nutrients.

 

So, that’s about 305, I don’t really know how much weight wise I’ve grown, mostly because I’m curing it still and there are seeds in some of it. Much less than a pound much more, I think, than an ounce. But The only ingredient I absolutely need is water for my next few grows. For the other closet I’m expanding into I did get a screaming deal on a RDWC (Recycling Deep Water something with a C) for around 115 shipped.

 

Oh, yeah, one more cost thing. Most of my seeds come from this company in Oregon. $29.99 for 10 and they always have some kind of deal, either get a freebie of the week with a purchase (10 of a seed they are featuring) or, like around Christmas, BOGO. They don’t, however, do feminized seeds or auto-flower. I think I got my femmes from holland. It’s impractical to do that in the time of COVID-19 and it’s expensive, though depending how well the Acapulco does I might clone her. If I knew how to breed a male on purpose I would like to breed Acapulco with Blue Dream or Scooby Snacks. I do, however, know how to experiment. It would be fine with me if I fucked up and grew all females anyhow from regular seeds. They have a better than 50/50 chance of being female anyhow, without interference the weed doesn’t have a predetermined sex (that’s my novice understanding, in a simple way I think it’s accurate though).

 

It’s late. I think Marine One is hover over my house.