happiness_in_a_pill : the melancholic frolic

So, today was the first of my days off. I only got paid yesterday and I’m already broke. I know I’ll probably get lynched for this but I really like a song by Rihanna at the moment called "Unfaithful".

What can I say about this week? I’ve burned myself with splashed oil, had a drain [at least 10-20kg’s] slam into my knee, cut myself, attempted to kill myself, yelled at my boss and cried at work, had a friend go suicidal, been suicidal, and just read two friends’ diary entries which have really upset me. Oh, and how could I forget the definitive in the week, this woman I had a crush on was asked by my friend what she felt and he got the response that, had I heard it with my own ears, probably wuld have killed me. "We’ll only be friends". *Sigh*

So, let’s start from the start. I dropped a basket of cooked tendercrisp chicken back into the vats by accident and burnt my right wrist.
The drain thing was supposed to have been held up but wasn’t, it fell and hit my left knee which is now giving me arseholes and yeah… may have to go on ACC.
Was just really upset and spent half an hour repetitively cutting the same line into my skin. Scar/scab is still there, when it’s gone I’ll do it again.
Tied a belt around my throat. Note and everything. Unfort. it didn’t work. Knocked out for a while, and lucky I locked my door.
My friend is going through a hard time lately and me and his girlfriend have been really worried about him so yeah, that sucked.
*See above*
My two friends, are both going through problems at the moment, and I’m really upset that I don’t go and see them more. I hope they’ll be alright till I get to them.
As for the definitive, well…. A while ago I got upset because she knew how I felt but would never let me know how she felt for me. I told another friend this [while she nipped into the crewroom at work] and he said, he’d ask her really unsuspiciously]. He did and then told me the result, which we all know now what it is. The only problem is it’s killing me. My stomach aches, my head is at a lost as to what to do and my heart… my heart is disintergrated into pieces and roams my body trying to find somewhere to stay.

 

 

When I Am Queen
by Jack Off Jill

When I am queen I will insist with perfect scars upon my wrists
that everything you once held dear is taken away from you

When I am queen sweet girlscout’s face and not a one will fall from grace
If all their hearts I could replace, but until then I’ll have to…

[Chorus]
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown

When I am queen on royal thrown made out of parts of broken bones
of all the devils I have known that suck the angels dry

When I am queen I’ll have my way I’ll make it drowning dollie day
and all the tears that we have cried will suck back in our eyes

[Chorus x2]

Hush baby hush baby
Hush baby go to sleep
Hush baby hush baby
Hush baby I’ll make it be

When I am queen I will not wait my body type will still be great
I will not leave it up to fate because I hate you too

When I am queen they all will see the patron saint of self-injury
the glitter sores will heal themselves I’ll play the part of someone else

[Chorus x2]

 Witch Hunt
by Jack Off Jill

Dead girl’s dance they burn and twirl
Witch hunt
Witch cunt burn this girl
Dead girl’s dance they burn and twirl
Witch hunt
Witch cunt burn this girl
Dead girl’s dance they burn…-

I’m running out of air
Theres a carnival in the graveyard tonight
With the clouds that fall with poison
And they fall on my skin making tiny holes
Erasing my legacy
Nothing hurts
Nothings right
I am nothing
Turning to the left
I get on a ride
And the ride’s dark..
And drive nazi cars..
And I am no longer afraid
Because I’ve held on so tight
That I’ve crushed them…
I’ve crushed them
It covers me
And I try to find comfort in the darkness
Where I am no longer your misanthropic majesty
With only one match…And only one chance to burn…
Only one..
I’M BURNING
I’M FUCKING BURNING
Dead Girl’s Dance They burn they twirl
Witch hunt
Witch cunt burn this girl

 Author Unknown
by Jack Off Jill

Check your diction
Search your memory
Create your history
Still not true
Write your novel
Pick and shovel
You will need them when I bury you

No forgiveness you’re no martyr
Sell yourself
Make it true

Check your grammar
your bad nature
Exaggerations still not true
Ask your question and listen closely
Here’s your answer
It’s still fuck you

No forgiveness you’re no martyr
Sell yourself
Make it true
There’s no price tag on my conscience
here’s your answer it’s still
FUCK YOU

I met a man who was gone in a day
He grabbed my hands
Memories flashed away
I met a man who was once on my side
he wrote a book
and now everyone lies
NO

No forgiveness you’re no martyr
Sell yourself
make it true
There’s no price tag on my conscience
here’s your answer it’s still
FUCK YOU

 That’s all for today because motion soon becomes mutation.

SImoN
happiness_in_a_pill