happiness_in_a_pill : remember to dismember
How could I have burned paradise
How could I – you were never mine!
I would like to thank [A Faint Light] for being, quite possibly, the only person to understand my specific mood. That’s how it is for me, you just stand there, lacking any sense of comprehension, intoxicated with insanity, be it temporary madness or permanent affliction, and think "what now"? You think "well… and" and being the end of the sentence].
I live in hope. Die in despair. I feel like all that I can say to explain my status is just drowning. Drowning in rage at being overlooked for something you deserve at work. Drowning in anger at the customer who is an ungrateful fucker who abuses you. Drowning in regret that you even bother telling someone you love them. Drowning in regret that you tell someone in confidence only to have it spread in less than four hours.
[Watching some tv show, and just saw a McDonald’s truck driving in front of a "State Coroner’s Office". ‘Big Mac’ anyone?
Yeah, that WAS his name in life and death].
What happened to all the events that were once headlines? Helen Clark’s crocodile tears at Waitangi Day? PopeTown infuriating the church [mind you, not much doesn’t these days]. The ‘controversial’ south park episode with the virgin mary? the miners trapped down the well in Australia? I find it quite emptying that the news isn’t remembered. I mean one day everything is "scandal this, scandal that". A couple of weeks later and it’s all under the bridge, forgotten and forgiven. What’s the point of publishing it when, in reality, we don’t find it important?
Had to wake up at six forty in the morning to get ready for work this morning. I set my alarm for six thirty as well, but being the idiot I am, I set it for six thirty in the evening. The computers were down at work for a while because it needed to be fixed, so that meant we had to write down all the orders by hand and report it to kitchen, then write down the money they gave us, then, later, I had to put them all through on the computer [around 40-50 in all]. Mark was in kitchen again, this pissed me off, I’ve been there longer, I should be in kitchen more than him, this is one of the things that pisses me off more and more each day. Spent a lot of time on my feet by the end of the day but I got to train a new girl, who was actually quite friendly and courteous, let’s see how long that lasts. They came back and modified the computer system again. This time, they let us use the tills [so cash was easier] HOWEVER we still had to pass it on to kitchen. Got an extra break for a smoke break so that was pretty cool, especially seeing as how Kelli [my boss] told me that I wasn’t allowed to ask for one [a test because I usually do].
I’m still watching that show, and I want to work for the Coroner’s Office. I mean, paperwork, dead bodies, dealing with families and being able to offer counselling. It sounds like my kind of job.
Well, it’s just struck 12:07a.m. meaning I’ve been awake for 17 and a halfish hours so I’m going to head off to bed after I have a smoke.
Have found quite possibly, the most beautiful Latin words [not forgetting "memento mori", "disce mori", and "respice finem"].
"Ars moriendi"
Latin for "The Art of Dying
"Memento Mori"
Latin for "Remember You Must Die
"Disce Mori"
Latin for "Learn To Die"
"Respice Finem"
Latin for "Consider The End"
Words I live by,
-SImoN
happiness_in_a_pill