happiness_in_a_pill : fight apathy…. or don’t…

i know i hardly write anymore and i don’t really care if anyone reads this or not. it’s for me first and foremost.

when i stop to think about things it becomes unbareable, but i have to do this, i have to get it out.

rebekah’s death still haunts me, it has destroyed a part of me which will never be fixed. i know what happened and why but, why couldn’t she have just called or texted someone who could keep her safe and protect her? why did she have to do it? i have the answers but i have new questions and they’re ones that i will not get an answer to in this lifetime.

In two weeks I’ve been into the hospital for stomach cramps/pain [caused by stress], that same day i had my car broken into and had $1298 worth of stuff stolen and crashed my car on my mum’s 50th birthday.

now as i’m stopping to write it’s getting hard for me to breathe, it hurts and my lungs itch. it’s exhausting and overwhelming.

my doctors prescribing valium in a month, and i fucking hope it works, i just don’t want to live in this world anymore, i want to stay in my room and not deal with anything.

and i really can’t stand work. i’m sick of serving ungrateful mother fucking customers and dealing with the highschool fucking problems everyone has. no one can keep their mouths shut and it’s fucking gossip central, and if there’s no info going around, they just make shit up.

 i found out that my best friend from primary school [elementary school for you americans] is gay, and we’re on the same personals site.

Much love,
SImoN
happiness_in_a_pill