you just have to give people a chance ^_^

I realize in life, it is so much easier to say no then to say yes. well…at least it is for me. because when i say no to something, i dont have to think about it at all, its as easy as just saying…well…NO. but saying yes to something means a commitment, or a promise, or a change.

But just like in the movie "YES MAN" I realized that saying yes openes up so many more opportunities in life. You just never know what is going to happen!

For instance I’m in a play right now called "Company" that I heard of from my friend/coworker Charity. She told me they needed someone to play the part of Kathy and that she told her sister to contact me since she knew I was into acting and singing.  For some reason my first instinct was to say no, that I couldn’t do it, but then I thought "What reason do I have to turn it down? None! I love singing, I love acting, so why am I afraid to take on this part?"  I had already decided I was going to start challenging myself and being more of a go getter kind of person so I said ALRIGHT I’ll do it!

So I prepared a piece to sing for my audition and Charitys sister Katie told me where to meet and what time. She even said "Oh and a bunch of us meet at the martini bar next to Amys on The Bay before rehearsal sometimes, so you are welcome to meet us there first if you like!" I was realy surprised because I didn’t know Katie, she was a complete stranger, and yet she seemed to already be trying to make me feel more comfortable and part of the group.

I thought that was really sweet of her, but I wasn’t quite sure I was ready for that. It takes me a lot longer than normal to warm up to people I don’t know and start really opening up and feeling comfortable being myself. So I made up an excuse as to why I didn’t go and went straight to the audition.

During the first few weeks I got aquainted with the whole cast. Everyone was so nice! However  since many of them had already done a show (or more) together, I felt they were already a tight knit group and I was the outsider. A few times  I was invited to go out after rehearsals, and a few times after the shows (when they began ), but I always said "oh another time!" because I thought it would be awkward. Then one night I realized, people actually want to know me and all I do is avoid all of the opportunities I have to show them who I really am. The only reason why I don’t feel like I fit in with the cast is because I shut people out.

So tonight, after the show, Justin (the lead who plays bobby ) said to me " So are you going to avoid going out with us again tonight hannah?" and I replied "Actually I WILL go out with you guys tonight! I just have to get dressed and I’ll meet you all at the Martini Lounge!"

"Right on!" Justin said. "Hurry up"

So I got dressed and drove over where Katie Olsen, Katie Hestead, Justin, Bri, Deb (Bris mother) Bruce ( the directors husband and rachels father ) and Amy ( she plays april one of the other girlfriends in the play ) were all there waiting. Amy was ordering apetizers for us all and I ordered myself a sunset island martini. I forget what was in it, but for a 7.00 drink it was HUGE and had lots of alcahol! Soon we were all chatting and laughin. I had not even had a sip of my drink yet and Justin goes "Are you sure hannah hasnt had anything to drink at all tonight?"

I just laughed and said "No, I’m just starting to show you guys the real me. It takes me a while to warm up to people. If you ask anyone who knows me they will say im pretty crazy"

Katie agreed and said "Yea charity has told me many stories about you!"

I smiled. I was starting to really feel glad that I came along. The apetizers they had at the lounge were AMAZING! There was this chicken pesto dip with baguetes, and cheesy bread sticks to dip in marinara sauce! OH and cheesy, garlic and crab stuffed mushrooms!

Since I had to drive myself home I decided not to finish my drink. I was halfway done with it and I already felt as if I had had more than enough. I thought the night would come to an end, but I found myself talking to Charits sister Katie about dancing and a bar called slip 45 that I had never been to before that was near where we were in down town. She said "HEY! Want to go?"

I could have said no and gone straight home , but I liked Katie and something told me it would be fun hanging out with her, so I said "YEAH! Let’s do it!"

So we paid for our food and drinks and walked a block over to slip 45. Funny thing though, for a friday night the place was pretty much EMPTY. There was maybe 10-15 people and the onle people on the dance floor were two lesbian chicks. haha.

"Want to go somewhere else?" I said
"Yea, let’s go over to moon dogs across the street!" and just then a guy passed her and said "Yeah lets go!"

We looked at eachother and laughed.

I had never been to moon dogs either, but I had heard a lot about it. The place was packed! But there was an outdoor area for people to hang out in as well with lit fires. Katie and I got our drinks and headed out there where We started talking about boys and our views on dating and what not. Then I noticed that one of the guys standing near us was listening in on our conversation which I thought was kind of rude, but since he was, I said loudly "Yeah It’s kind of a turn off when guys just ask me out, I like things to be more spontaneous when I meet someone you know?" Any way, as expected the guy jumped into our conversation a little while later, commenting on one of our stories. He said "I couldnt help but listen it was very interesting im sorry!"

Soon Katie and I found ourselves surrounded by guys, but we felt completely cool talking with them since they all had fiances and girlfriends. Everyone was very chill! however the first guy that talked to us , Luke, was being pretty bold with me.  He was a very nice guy and I really enjoyed talking with him, but It was starting to be obvious he was interested in more than friendship.  So when he asked me if I wanted to on a walk sometime or just get coffee I made it clear to him that I didn’t want anyone expecting more than friendship from me. I said I really loved meeting new people and having good conversations, but that I wasn’t looking for anything more at the moment. Yes I sorta lied. I could see Luke as being a friend, I just didn’t feel I had a connection with him other than that…that and he was drunk.

Even though he said "Yeah that’s totally cool I understand" He kept complimenting me saying I had beautiful eyes and that he was giving me attention because he could tell there was something special about me, that I was a good girl and he could sense it. They were all such nice things and I really blushed, but I felt bad since he just wasn’t getting the hint that I wasn’t interested.  Before Katie and I left he tried to kiss me and whe

n I turned my head he kissed my forhead which I still felt was crossing the line. I mean, even holding hands with someone is intimate to me. So we left and I decided I would not contact him since he obviously didn’t listen to anything I said.

Sometimes I feel men have selective hearing, or words go in one ear and out the other. *sigh* This is why when I go to bars I never go with the intention of looking for someone. NEVER. I go just to have random coversations, dance, and just relax! That is it.

It was really nice spending all that time with Katie and It felt really natural talking to her. I hope that we can hang out some more and become better friends ^_^

Heres to a fun/crazy/weird night!