what am i gonna do?

ok……..tonight i was talkin to my friend jimmy and maggie and adriel was stayin the night at jimmys house and suddenly jimmy and maggie started talkin about how me and adriel should get together and that we were perfefct for eachoter and i told them it was impossible cus he dint like me and we were only friends and i dint want to ruin the friendship with a relationship and i was scared to get hurt. then they told me adriel DID like me and i just got all panicy cus i dint know wat to say and stuff and i was nervous and plus, i dint want to talk about it cus i knew adriel was there and i was scared cus (like i said) i was scared to have a relationship. so (like i always did wenever the subject of love and and adriel put together came up) i said i had to go. and then heres the convo me and jimmy had next…..

Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.

SILENT says:

i need to talk

SILENT says:

hold ups

SILENT says:

geez

hannah says:

hmm?

hannah says:

i told u i was gonna go

SILENT says:

can i juss say sum stuff

SILENT says:

FINE BUH BYE

hannah says:

OK

hannah says:

im listening

SILENT says:

JUSS RUN LIKE U ALWAYS DO

hannah says:

wat jimbob

hannah says:

hannah says:

sorry

SILENT says:

BYE

hannah says:

i said i was sorry

SILENT says:

AT LEAST I CAN FACE MY FEARS

hannah says:

and how do u know i run?

hannah says:

is this jimmy?

hannah says:

well i cant ok!

SILENT says:

YEAH

SILENT says:

I TOLD U ADREIL IS UPSTAIRS

hannah says:

i cant face my fears and thats my problem!

SILENT says:

ITS JUSS ME AND U

hannah says:

gosh i just cant

SILENT says:

well i try

hannah says:

i dont know y

SILENT says:

ohk i talk to u friend to friend here

SILENT says:

cuz ive known u and adriel

SILENT says:

and i no adriel wouldnt cheat on u and hes scared you will avoid him thats y

hannah says:

what?

SILENT says:

he says he dont like u

hannah says:

well i told u he dint

hannah says:

and i thought he was upstairs!

SILENT says:

cuz hes scared u will avoid him

hannah says:

i would never avoid him

SILENT says:

he is i talk to lhim bout this

hannah says:

the only times i have was wen i tried to get over him

SILENT says:

before and juss listen for once

hannah says:

i am

hannah says:

k go on

SILENT says:

ohk

SILENT says:

he likes u right

SILENT says:

now dont type yet im slow at this

SILENT says:

well he dont want to say nuthin cus hes afraid u might avoid him or sumthin

SILENT says:

and he dont want u gettin hurt

SILENT says:

so he juss rather not talks bout it

SILENT says:

maybe u two can build a relationship

SILENT says:

never no thou

SILENT says:

but i think u two should talk

hannah says:

but i wouldnt know what to say

hannah says:

if we had a relationship i woud never avoid him adn id never hurt him

hannah says:

im just afraid that hed hurt me

hannah says:

but i cant say hed be perfect

hannah says:

everyone makes mistakes

SILENT says:

yeah and u build on that

hannah says:

but what about our friendship

hannah says:

and im really shy

hannah says:

its hard for me to express how i feel

SILENT says:

but how many times are u goin to avoid this subject

hannah says:

guess its been kinda obvious huh

SILENT says:

yeah

SILENT says:

but he thinks u would avoid him if u ever did break up

SILENT says:

cuz i no for a fact he would stay friends wit u

hannah says:

well all i can say is if we did break up i would be hurt cus of course hed have to be the dumper cus i wouldnt dump him

hannah says:

but i woud ger over it after awhile

hannah says:

hed just have to give me time and space

hannah says:

but i dont think our freindship would ever be as close as it was before

hannah says:

thats what im afraid of

hannah says:

maybe it will be i dont know

hannah says:

maybe if we broke up i would get over him

hannah says:

but if i dint

hannah says:

it would still be harder for me

SILENT says:

see hes friends wit all his ex’s its u hes worried about thas y he doesnt mention the subject

hannah says:

no matter what

hannah says:

i will always be his friend

hannah says:

i wouldnt just stop talkin to him

hannah says:

like i said

hannah says:

id just need time

hannah says:

and then maybe after a week or somethin wen i was ok id call him

hannah says:

but he has to learn something

SILENT says:

and wat is thta

SILENT says:

that

hannah says:

sometimes u cant prevent someone from gettin hurt no matter how hard u try

hannah says:

if he broke up with me sure id be hurt he cant prevent that

hannah says:

and maybe id still be hurt if i still liked him

hannah says:

but id always be his freinds

hannah says:

friend

hannah says:

no matter hwat

hannah says:

what

hannah says:

he doesnt need to worry about that

hannah says:

SILENT says:

well u do wat ur heart desires alright

hannah says:

i cant make a first move

hannah says:

im way to shy

hannah says:

but watever happens happens

hannah says:

i do want a relationship

hannah says:

but i just have to think things over

hannah says:

well i really have to go now

hannah says:

my bro wants on

SILENT says:

ohk well ill talk to soon probably

SILENT says:

well night

hannah says:

ok

hannah says:

hey wats ur number again i want to call u sometime

SILENT says:

(907)486-0318

hannah says:

ok thanks

hannah says:

night night

hannah says:

and thanks

hannah says:

for talkin to me

hannah says:

hannah says:

i really do appreciate it

SILENT says:

no prob wat are friends for

hannah says:

ok night night see ya

SILENT says:

alright nites for no

SILENT says:

w

SILENT says:

c-ya

——————————————————–

gosh this all had to happen right before i go back too! now i dont know how im gonna act around him and im so excited happy and nervous at the same time. sigh o well like i said…wat happens happens.

Log in to write a note