things
The last time i had a boyfriend Adriel just went out with a girl to try and get even with me, which i thought was pretty dumb cus i knew he didnt even like her. be broke up wiht her right before he saw me. ne who, this time with mike , i thought he had grown up a bit, but noooo he calls from kodiak sayin "hannah i asked a girl out" and im like ok what did she say? and he said well at first she said yea but then seh said but your too hott for me so im thinkin we are but i dont know" so im like ok how will that work when you go back to fairbanks? and hes like well im not goin back (which i know he will ) im like ok watever. so when he gets back ill ask him about it cus it makes no sense if he goes out long distance with another girl when he wouldnt with me. just doesnt make sense. sigh he makes me so mad. i bet hes thinkin "oh well poor me poor me hannah found someone" but you know what? he let me go, how dare he call me selfish! he knew we werent committed to eachother and he knew we could both meet other people and i knew he didnt expect it. he just took it for granted that id always be there nad id always just like him nad not be with any other guy. at least thats wat it seems like. well he took my feelings for granted and now ive found someone else cus i couldnt make him see that i was something he wouldnt ever want to risk losing. He could have said "hey hannah, lets promise to eachother not to date anyone and wait until we can be together" then id be happy cus i wouldnt have to worry about him or me meeting anyone and know that we would be together, but thats not what we agreed on and so yea i met someone. Now if he really cares about me he will do something if he sees he miht lose me, if not hten i know that hes a coward, or just doesnt care about me enough. I mean this is it, i knew i couldnt pass this guy up cus i knew if i met someone adriel could meet someone just as good.and if Adriel wasn’t ready to make a commitment….well i cant just go on wondering. sometimes i think when it comes to love that adriel is just clueless. hes gonna lose the most preciious thing and he wont do a damn thing about it. just thinkin "oh well i guess it just wasnt meant to be" well ill say something, ive had to be the first one to open up many times, i had to ask him to kiss me on our first kiss, etc….so there is no way i should ever have to ask "hello? im gonna go out with this guy here, why arent u doin net hing? dont u still like me?" i should never have to ask about his feelings. he will have to tell me. right now hes making it easier for me to make a decision so he better get his act up. geesh. I love him…. 🙁