the thoughts in my head
Sometimes the hunger to change your life can force you to make decisions more quickly than you should. Take things slowly right now, and realize that your situation is good as it stands now. Be grateful for what you have.
haha yea, im thinking so much about the future and worrying so much about where im going. its hard not to 😛
well ok, jeremy came over monday night and we finally talked things through. i was really upset because ive known for a while that he was avoiding talking to me and it really bothered me. if he didnt want to date me or he had something to say i wanted him to say it, not keep me dragging along. i mean im not stupid, and when he kept making excuses for not hanging out and not making any effort to see me, it insulted me that he didnt think i could see what was going on. it was really obvious! i was more angry than hurt because i didnt really have enough time to develope real feelings for him. any who he came over and after having a little friendly chit chat i cut to the point. i let him know that i knew he was avoiding talking to me and he admitted it himself. so then he said what i knew he would say. that he was a more physical person than me and so we wouldnt work out romanticly. I was fine with that not only because its what i expect to happen with most guys, but because i knew we were too opposite to work out. hes a morning person, im a night owl, hes a health freak, im a junk food nut, he goes to bars, im too into school for parties now, hes more physical and needs attention, i need space and im not flirtatious or touchy. but we always eneded up having fun anyways when we were together! so yea we are friends now and i really like that. i feel so much more comfortable being around him. i dont know, maybe its the whole concept of dating that makes it harder to be myself? maybe i should stop thinking that im dating a guy and just see him as anyone else, then ill feel more comfortable *sigh* im surprised at how well jeremy took it and he was surprised at how well i took it. he said the reason why he kept putting it off was because he thought id be one of those emotional overly sensitive girls who cry and get angry and call him names lol. i said to him " yes its true, many girls are like that, but do they really have the right? if they just looked from the guys point of view they would see that he was only doing what was best for bothof them. would she have rather him lie and say he loved her or had a good time with her when he didnt? being honest is a huge key to mostly everything! even if the truth can be mean , its helpful to the other person. well i just fell asleep by acident on the computer so i think i should call it quits for tonight! goodnight yall
hanners