so last night as of 12:15am….

I have not been single!!! thats right people, hannah spool is no longer a single woman! and you know what? this time i know i really like the guy! lol. lets see, justin leedy i went out with in 8th grade just because it seemed like the thing to do. (everyone was going out with someone) and the same thing with justin, they didnt mean anything! Just holding hands at school, being able to tell people they were your boyfriend or girlfriend,and then not seeing eachother or talking to eachother outside of school lol. So then i was single all the way till sophmore year when i met tyler in december! now everyone knows that december is the christmas month where all the single ladies are the lonliest ever, so i went out with tyler because he seemed nice, i was lonely, and i thought id get to like him, EH WRONG! So then pretty much i have never had a real boyfriend because i have never had a boyfriend that i had feelings for! but today that all changes because i now have my first real boyfriend ^_^ and i have no doubts, and no worries. i refuse to because im happy right now. so this is what happened…

i went over there at midnight and he played me a song he was working on for one of his bands. then he came over, put his arm around me and we talked about how our days went. then after a moment of silence he said " you know what hanners, i think that convorsation we had last night was pretty dang good dont you think?" i replied
"yea, yes it was" then he said "so i like you a lot, and you like me, so dont you think we have something here?"
i said "what do you mean?" and he said "well i think we both agreed last night that we were good for eachother, and that we can work in a relationship"
"now?"
"well yea"
"like…boyfriend and girlfriend?"
"yea, what do you say hanners?"
….long pause….. and my thoughts were "ok why say no? nobody has made me feel this way since adriel, and i am so happy! why should i be scared? for once i should just stop worrying"  and so i said quietly
"ok"
"well i’m going to have to hear a yes instead of an ok to make me feel that you really want this hanners" (pokes me jokingly)
"lol ok yes!"
and then he went on telling me how it was so weird that i was next door this whole time, and how weird it was that i effected him this way, that i had some hold on him that no other girl has ever had. that he loves how he can just be happy spending time with me and we havent done anything physical, and that its much more special that way. and he went on about sayin how he had no idea what it was about me that made him care about me so much, but all he knew was that he wanted a girl like me and he wanted it to be me, and that he liked me from the moment he saw me not only because i was pretty but because i sent out a good vibe.  he just spilled out all of these feelings he had for me and i never realized how much he really cared. all i could do was lay there as my face got redder and redder from blushing. 
i realize that he has been the answer to my prayers. ive asked god so many times to help take the pain away, that if there was the right guy out there to send him to me so that i didnt have to hurt anymore. its funny how the things that come to you are always unexpected, and always closer than you think. in this case, god knew that i had to learn my own lessons by going out there and dating, and  little did i know that the right guy was next door to me all these years. he always had girlfriends, and i was always the neighbor girl. his girlfriends were partiers and drinkers and drug doers and i, well i was just hannah lol. and we both saw eachother at a glance every once in a while, but that one day that i went over there, we both saw eachother up close face to face for the first time. and there was a spark and i didnt know why, the spark scared me. it was just that moment of connection where you feel something could be there even when you barely know the person. all this time i thought i couldnt hear god, that he wasnt answering my prayers or i just couldnt listen, but once i stopped worrying about being hurt and commitment, i was able to really let trevor into my heart. i just realized it yesterday, that me and him were just…right for eachother. before i even started to like trevor, i hung out with him because i felt that there was a reason for him to be in my life somehow, and i didnt know what for yet.  all i know is that this is the beginning of something good. i may not know all his faults, and i may not have had a fight with him yet, but i think we are supposed to be together and i dont know why. lol maybe i dont make sense to anyone else but i know i make sense to me. *shrugs* any who life should be more interesting now that im no longer miss independent.