:-) :-O ;-) >:- ( :’-(

ignore the faces on the subject title of this entry, i just couldnt figure out what to name it!  any who hmmm today i started working for my mom doing things aroudn the house because im workless! my job has no work for me and im so totally broke! i mean yea i have savings but thats not doing it for me. i need MONEY! i hate borrowing money for gas from my parents 😛 so ill just work for them till i get work again. sigh.  any who i dont know if i said this in my last entry but megan and i got fitted into our bridesmaid dresses finally. and rachel found out that kimo is going to be deployed for 9 more weeks or something like that? 90 more days? i dont remember, but the point is the wedding will not be in april, so in may im guessing? i dunno, but at least she has more time to plan the wedding since thats all she complains about right now is that she doesnt have enough time. sometimes i dont know what she wants, she says she doenst have enough time, and then shes sad that he has to stay for 90 more days. im failing as a bridesmaid, but ive never been a bridesmaid before and i dunno, nobodys saying anything to her but shes made a lot of people (not naming anyone eh hem) feel like shit without knowing it. i felt bad for being a brat and saying something uncalled for before we left to get the dresses fixed, but i was fed up with everyone just not saying anything. rachel comes off so scary sometimes that nobody has the guts to tell her when shes crossed the line with them. i mean rachel yelled at ber best friend for ripping off the corner of a page of a book that was practically hanging off already. we all saw it. its no wonder why lexie would feel she couldnt talk to rachel about anything. rachel, sometimes i wish you would open your eyes. you might think you have a right to just think about yourself right now since kimo is in iraq and you are planning a wedding and all, but sometimes you are so focused on yourself you forget how to be kind and you forget to really see how you treat people. i dont know if you read this but im sorry if you do, these are my thoughts and feelings. i love you so much, but lately its been hard to like you, and im not the only one who would agree. im not attacking you or tryin to hurt you, but i just wnat you to be more careful with your words towards your bridesmaids. including lexie. im very happy for you and i want your wedding to be the best ever, but i hate not liking my own sister. its only been this year that i have seen teh changes in you, and sure you can argue , you can be pissed at me, deny everything, and say that im wrong, but this diary is all my true feelings and thoughts, put me down or not.

sigh. im sure everyone i know has been hurt once or twice from reading my entries, but it has also brought us all closer. im just always the one being attacked because im the only one who speaks up for everyone. any who im gonna go make coffee…..
Hannah