my weekend!!! 2/15 saturday

Sat Feb. 15, 2003 by Astrocenter.com

Love is sometimes up and sometimes down. Today’s aspect means that it may begin swinging in all directions, as you and your new partner are experiencing an all-time high by just being in each other’s company. At times like this life is truly wonderful, as your enthusiastic and infectious sentiments are reminding those around you of what being in love is all about

ok the next morning i was so happy because i knew tyler was going to come over 🙂 my mom had suggested it the night before but if she dint i probably wouldnt have cus i was too shy. i dont want tyler to think im obsessive over him like i have to see him allll the time. what i mean is i dont want to scare him away,but it seemed that he really did want to come over 🙂 another thing i was nervous about was sometimes on the phone i cant think of things to say and he cant either and since i knew we would be alone together for a long time i didnt want to bore him and i just hoped we would find things to do and talk about. i wish he would talk more about his feelings. i mean not just sayin he likes my but why,and what my good qualities are for,and how i make him feel,but we had a talk on v-dayt about it and he does like me for me its just that he has a hard time saying how he feels and putting his feelings into words. hes better off showin them. but i do need to hear him open up once in a while because touching is nice but i have to feel things emotionally as well and i cant always read his mind. sometimes i thought it wasnt fair because i would open up to him and say how wonderful he was adn how i felt with him and stuff and he wasnt able to say much, but its all good now 🙂 i dotn really know if he knew the different between hot and beautiful either. beautiful is more like who i am and not just my image,and wenever a guy called me hot i just felt as if i dint have ne thing inside and an image is all i was. some guys are really shy to say a gurl is beautiful and tyler had never called a girl beautiful before so i know he just hasnt had much experience. im letting him off with him calling me pretty 🙂 its perty much the same thing as beautiful and it makes me feel more special hehe. ne ways back to waht i was talkin about before my thoughts got off track… o yea!

i looked around my room and thought of everything i could to interest him in and talk about. at 2:45 we left to pick him up and i decided to try a look i never really wore, my dressed up look. i had a flowered top on that i barely ever wear and my cacki fuzzy pants. i also had my hair down which is also a rarity but i wanted to impress him that day hehe. before we got home we went to the store because my mom wanted to pick up a few things and i needed eye stuff for my contacts and then we picked up a friend of my sisters and came home. my mom had to go somewhere but my dad was home so i heated some lasangya up for his dinner and then took tyler to my room cus he had left his boxers there on accident the other night. since everyone always writes stuff on my walls with glow in the dark glue tyler put a heart sayin TS+HS 🙂 it was so cute. i decided to show him my rock collection because he asked about it before and it was one of my favorite collections. i showed him the gems and told him the types of rocks i knew and the ones i liked best. then i took some more pictures of him cus the one online wasnt the best and then we played around with the cue ball. the cue ball is a ball from sharper image that answers yes or no questions when you shake it. kinda like an upgraded 8 ball. we sat on the bed and played with it and then i realized i had nothin else to tlak about and i got really nervous. we just sat there and he looked at me and asked me what i wanted to do. i said i dont know what do u want to do? and my heart just started racing and he leaned forward and started to kiss me! 🙂 i swear every time he touches me i just feek weak and let him take control. i feel as if i just cant move or somethin and i go into a daze and sometimes it feels like a dream. i feel so many feelings at the same time, fear,nervousness(is that a word?),excited,scared,happy,and lots of other things i cant explain! the next thing i knew he was on top of me on the bed and kissing my neck and my mouth and brushing his hand over my back. it was the best feeling i ever had and i didnt want it to stop. for the first time i was feelings butterflies that i had never felt with anyone else. at least not this way! i couldnt believe it was actually happening. i never reall knew what it felt like to be touched and kissed my someone i cared about until that moment. for some reason i felt something more then when we had our first kiss at school. there was more feeling and more emotion then before and i just loved it.a little later i asked him what he was thinking about nad he said “what do u think im thinkin about” and i said well i think i know but i dont wanna know if im right or wrong cus i like to wonder” and he said”well i was wondering if you would be uncomfortable if i took off your bra” and suddenly (i guess i was just really into the moment) the words just came out “nope not at all” are u sure? “yup” i had never let any other guy touch my boobs without a bra on and i couldnt believe i was taking this step but i wanted to. and so i took off my bra and he hid it among my stuffed animals in case my parents should walk in and we started kissing again and yea….hehehehehhe NO IM NOT GONNA GO INTO DETAILS GOSH! sickos out there readin this lol….. but it was nice cus i had never been touched that way by ne guy before and it felt good! after we were dont kissin and stuff i showed him the kodiak year book and pointed out a bunch of my friends that i always talked about so he knew them a little bit more. kodiak is still a big part of my life so he will have to know alot about it hehe, most of me is still living there in my heart. well i put my bra back on and we went outside on the trampoline. it was gettin dark and a cool breeze was outside so it felt nice just to lay on a blanket beside him. we were just about to kiss when the cat jumped up right at our faces! omg it was so scary lol. wen we were makin out on my bed his head hit my singing monkey and the song started really loud lol. i was like “hmm that wasnt really the song i had in mind for this moment haha okies ne ways onto the next day