long time no write!

oops haha, ive gotten way behind in my writing! well i will write a short update.

so, its near the end of winter quarter and ive accomplished one of my goals! i now go to the gym every day after school! yay! my body will be ready for the beach in no time ^_^ and i feel great! sore, but great! work isnt that great, just because i havent been getting enough of it. i need a more steady job. im thinking about asking my manager if i can start to be trained for waitressing. that would be nice and i would be making more money even doing a part time job! oh and my insurance goes down to 246! woo hoo! haha yea still high i know but at least its gone down from 294 to 261 to now! it will go down more over time. see kids? thats what happens when you get into accidents right after you get your licence haha. bad bad bad. sigh. its a good thing i was on my own insurance or else my parents insurance would have been sky high! kujo shut himself in the bathroom again this morning when he was trying to get into the garbage, so this time for punishment, i just left him in there. mean? yes, but i dont care, i hate that dog. dont worry, my mom came home at 3:30 and let him out ^_^.  hmmm lesseee…….ive been having some trouble with some friends of mine.
i feel that whenever i try to tell them when they hurt my feelings they just get defensive and make me seem like the bad guy or that i have no reason to be upset. or they say im being dramatic. well its one thing to be dramatic, and another to be able to have the courage to tell your friends when they did something to hurt you. its better than stuffing everything inside and not working it out at all. the thing is, i feel that they dont wnat to work things out. they just dont want to deal with it, and we cant get closer that way. i just feel like they dont care if im hurt. if i hurt one of them in any way i would definitely apologize for that because i would never mean to hurt anyone. even if i thought i didnt do anything wrong id say "im sorry that you feel hurt, it was not my intention to hurt you, i dont feel like i said or did anything wrong but i am sorry that you took it that way." if my friends did that for me id at least feel that my feelings were being taken into consideration. right now i feel that i have no right to my feelings because they just get pissy with me if i try to tell them. and they feel that i should be the ONLY one apologizing. yes i can admit when im wrong, i have no problem apologizing if im wrong and i have, but in this situation its not only me. and they not only thinkg they did nothign wrong at all but dont even care that im hurt. and it really hurts me even more that i have friends like that. it makes me feel unloved and unliked. sometimes i feel likie certain ppl in my group of friends shut others in our group out, and make them feel isolated. its rude and unfair to everyone else. i wish everyone could just get along and just love one another instead of pick and choose favorites. i wish everyone would want everyone to be invited to certain events and be able to tell everyone everything. i just want us to be closer. but the main key point is that some people in my group need to be able to look at things from different angles and need to learn to be able to confront others about how they feel and actually try to work things out. i cant always be the instigator. sigh. well i better get to bed,.
Hannah