im really dissapointed

high school is for when friends have fights and throw out their bitchiness at eachother, after highschool friends should be mature enough to work things out in a more mature manner. however that is not always the case. for instance, when cara and megan used to get together and be negative and especially negative towards me. they became so negative because instead of talking to me about what i did that they didnt like, they talked about me to each other and i could feel it. it turned out that what they said about me wasnt really anything  important at all, just meanness, and we almost lost our friendship.buuuuuut both of them had been going through some very tough stages in life and they just needed someone to pour their anger out on. i just couldnt take it anymore. now we are fine and that is behind us, understood and all over. we are still the best of friends adn now they can coem to me and talk to me if i did something that hurt them or did something that they didnt like.

i feel that this same situation is happening with two other friends of mine ali and jen. we used to and all get along and all have fun with eachother. ali and i used to be so close, but this past year shes stopped telling me personal things and kinda pushed me away. she started hanging out with my sister and jen more than me and it hurt. i figured i wasnt good enough of a friend or it was something about me she didnt like, either way i figured she had her reasons and i tried to let it go. jen also used to come over a lot more and used to hang with our group more. now, ever since when she moved out of her house, she seems to want to want to be apart. it seems that s she doesnt even care about me. the only times she comes over are when liz is here or we are drinking. that saddens me. ali says i have some weird notion to why i think she and jen are isolating themselves from us, but its true. they always do things together and never invite us. only them. i always try to include everyone in what i am doing because i love everyone so much and i figured everyone loved everyone in our group. but if ali and jen must go off just the two of them all the time. it makes me feel that they dont want to hang out with us, that they dont need us as friends and only need each other. why wouldnt they want to be with us? recently i got angry with them because once again i invited them to go somewhere with me in an effort to hang out with them, what do they do? go off with eachother instead. of course, confronting them about it at the store was immature and not a good time and place, but i did it because i was hurt and angry. the next day i felt bad about it but i still felt hurt by what they did. so i e-mailed them to apologize about blowing up in the store but i also said that i was still hurt by what they did. they both wrote back e-mails defending themselves. ali saying that she thought we were going at 5 when i told her 1ish and so she was going to go with jen first and with us later. and jen saying that she told us she couldnt  go later because she had work , even though i told jen we were going around 2 or 3. jen could have called me to tell me she was going by herself instead, she could have also waited since obviously she still had time when we got there. ali could have called to ask if we were really going at 5 since i was the person to invite her in the first place i thought she might want to call me to make sure i knew she was going with ali. either way my feelings werent taken into consideration even after i apologized which made me feel like they werent  the friends i thought they were. a real friend would still consider that they hurt their friend even if they dont think they did anything wrong. if i did something to hurt ali or jen and they confronted me about it, but i didnt think i did anything wrong for them to be mad about whatsoever, i still would see that whether i was right or wrong, the point is that i hurt them. so instead of just defending myself id say something like "if whatever i said or did hurt you i am sorrry for that, i had no intention to hurt your feelings, i didnt mean it that way." that is just what friends do. they love eachother, they are able to communicate their feelings with eachother , they try to understand eachother by looking at things from the other persons point of view as well as their own, and they learn from eachothers faults. they especially should be able to admit when they are wrong or at least try and understand how someone can be hurt from what they did or take it the wrong way. in this case, if ali and jen had come to me first before everything happened and told me what they planned to do, then i probably would not have been so upset. but they didnt, and im not phsycic and i cant know what they are feeling, so all i did was desipher what was going on from what i saw, which was ali and jen going to the place i invited them to, together instead of with me. anyone would be hurt by that. i dont know what is going on with them but i dont feel like they are being friendly these days and im tired of trying. this really saddens me
Hannah