i am soooo confused!

i told him i wanted to be friends and it was useless likin eachother becus nothin would ever happen with our feelings cus we dint want to ruin the friendshi[ and it would never work cus we were so far apart. and so we decided to put our feelings behind us and to pretend like nothin happened. then he got all mad cus he thought i was gettin over him (which i wasnt but i was actin like i was ) i mean i dint say we had to stop likin eachother. i told him id always have a place for him in my heart but it was time for us to open up our hearts and let others in cus we wernent ready to give eachother our whole hearts. and so yea i know i hurt him 🙁 ne ways i thought that was what i wanted and i thought that he was the one who was confused not knowing what he wanted. a relationship or friendship. ne ways now…it seems he doesnt like me ne more 🙁 he doesnt call as often,actually never calls in a matter of weeks, hes never online to talk to, ne never e-mails me unless i e-mail him back, and on the phone he doesnt seem like he misses me and he barely talks. on this e-mail survey he claims he has NEVER been in love 🙁 that really hurt. i cant help wanting him to love me, wanting his love, because i love him, i never stopped loving him, and now i wonder y im so sad wen its wat i wanted the whole time? to hide our feelings, try to get over eachother and let others in our lives. let destiny take place and see what happens. it frustrates me how he can like some other gurl so easily and i cant like another guy. he can replace me so fast 🙁 well ne ways he used to say i beautful. now om the e-mail survey when it said who was the hottest person he knew.he put a whole list of gurls names and i was on it. thats all i am now 🙁

i think ive lost him 🙁 but i cant help thinkin isnt that wat i wanted the whole time? 🙁 i just know that i love him

12:50am