hmmmm

Damn……soooooooo much shit has happened to me since my last entry. What i can say is ive gotten different aspects on life and maybe changed a few of my views on who i want to be and how i want people to see me and know me. Theres a thing i did i had fun doing, and another i maybe wasnt proud of, but i had to prove something to myself and i think i did. I really know my true self now and theres no way i will let anyone say im boring or not exciting because i dont do certain things. I can be a fun person without that stuff. Sure i can be influenced, but only if it makes the slightest bit of sence to me. I may have been angry at some of my friends because they went out drinking once a while (once in a while happened a lot) and yea it made me dissapointed in them, but then a friend told me that at least he wasnt addicted and drinkin after your 21 isnt fun cus u wont have everyone there with you that you want to drink with. and it made sence to me that its more fun to drink with ppl you know in highschool then to wait till your all grown up and be alone or with boring ppl.  but then after i did it, sure it was fun, but at the same time i wasnt proud of myself. Its almost like a war against myself and my thoughts and i dunno i cant really explain it. im even confusing myself hehe. I think i should follow how i feel. I mean drinking was a lot of fun but if i dont feel right after doing it , if i dont feel true to myself, then i shouldnt. I dunno. Its not like i DRINK. i did once in summer and once last month. thats it. If i ever did again it wouldnt be like most ppl (almost every weekend or every other weeknd) it would be every few months or something like that. but right now im sure i wont for a veeeery long time. I dont wanna get mixed up with the wrong ppl.  If i ever do get buzzed again it would have to be with close friends and ppl i am comfortable with . Ill never make drinkin a habit tho , never. its a really bad disgusting habit for alcaholics. I feel sorry for them. well for now ill just contemplate on what kind of person i am and what kind of decisions i make.
ok bye!

Hannah