Fast forward 5 years…

For those of you who have known me the longest, you know that I wrote in this all the time. I wrote for 12 years. I could literally go back in time on any given day to see what I had written. Then, all of a sudden, when I was in training for my new job, the site was taken down and my diary with it. All of those years of memories, gone. In an instant. I was devastated. Heartbroken. I could not bring myself to start writing again because of my grief.

The last time I wrote I was 26 years old and had just begun working as a bartender for Hornblower cruises. I had also finally achieved my dream of going to a Backstreet Boy concert and meeting them all in person! Well my life in Los Angeles no longer satisfied me, so I left to pursue a career as a flight attendant and started my month of training with SkyWest Airlines on January 2nd 2014. Immediately after training I moved to Vancouver WA in order to fly out of the Portland base. I am now 31 years old and have been with the company for 4.5 years. 🙂

When I first moved to Vancouver I was living with three other Flight Attendants from my new hire training class who also got based in Portland. Then it became two, and then two became one as each of them got engaged and married. I then lived a year with a lovely lady named Brandy who was 10 years older than me who worked at the hospital conveniently located up the street from us. Then when she decided that it was time for her to get her own place at the beginning of the year my newest roommate Jamie moved in. Shes a young gal of 21 who is very responsible, sweet as pie, and who reminds me of myself when I was her age. I thought it would be risky choosing her to live with me, but I am so happy that I followed my gut and went with her! It’s been a lot of fun!

I am still single. Going on 5 years of singledom now, but it does not bother me. I dated a few people in the last few years and none of them became my boyfriend because they were very good experiences. I learned from those experiences though and have definitely become stronger because of it. Long story short I love who I am, I am happy and content with life, and I have come to the conclusion that the men in the Portland area are not a good match for me. I do like the culture though. The people as a whole are sort of hippyish/tree huggerish/new age, and friendly. The food is locally grown, organic and non gmo. The city is clean for the most part and there is never a time where I feel unsafe. The best part of this area is that there are tons and tons of gorgeous places to hike! Within a half hour of where I live are beautiful mountains, trails, waterfalls, camp grounds, etc… Its so easily accessible which is a key component to why I love living here. When I was in Los Angeles I missed that connection. There was no green, no rain, no snow, no color. There was nothing that my soul could connect to. Nothing was feeding me spiritually. I realized that as soon as I left. I felt like I could finally breathe again.

A couple of major events happened last year that really affected me.  My father had a heart attack and survived. It was a very scary incident that made me more aware of my parents age and the time that I have left with them.  Then just 2 months later my best friends husband was hit by a car while riding his bicycle to work and killed instantly, leaving behind his wife and two sweet daughters age 1 and 3. That was devastating news to receive and is still very hard to take. I am supporting her as best as I know how.  I truly realize now what a precious gift life is and to really cherish it. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.

Spiritually I feel more in tune with my subconsciousness and intuition. I don’t take anything that comes to me as coincidence and I follow every sign, trusting that its leading me in the right direction. My sister met the most wonderful man almost 2 years ago and they now just purchased a home together, inviting me to move in with them next year for little to no cost to me. It’s a very generous offer which is why I decided to take it. There is no reason to say no and as much as I have fallen in love with the Portland area I do feel like it’s time for a shift in my life. I also definitely need to save more money. For now the plan is to save enough for a down payment and then come back down to Vancouver to buy a house.

The family is good for the most part.  My mother has had knee and hip replacement surgery, but has recovered well. My brother and sister in law have since moved home from Boston and have been living and working in Seattle. Jonah has a contract with the Seattle opera and Ali is a yoga instructor. My sister made me so proud by getting into WA State University and making the Deans list in her first quarter. She really wanted a bachelors degree in art and masters in education, however her dream was cut short when she started having severe pain in her abdomen area which kept her from pretty much doing anything. She found out that she was suffering from Endometriosis. She had missed so much school because of the pain that she was unable to make her deadlines for her major and I felt very sad for her. I still do. She has since found some ways to cope with the pain better, but until she has her surgery her life is not her own. I am very grateful she has such a good, patient, and supportive man such as her boyfriend Aaron beside her through all of this.

Wow, it feels so good to finally write again. I just could not bring myself to start all over from scratch after losing all of those years of my life. It just really broke my heart. I forgot just how therapeutic and zen this makes me feel.

Opendiary is not at all the same as it was before though. There is no option to personalize the look of my diary and I do not have a way for my non diary friends to read my entries. Hopefully that changes.

Tomorrow I will write more about what is currently happening in my life, but for now I will bid you adieu. Goodnight. Oh diary how I’ve missed you.