early morning adventure!

Looking for some new insights about yourself? It’s a good time to get quiet and go deep. Your soul has some answers for you, especially when it comes to some much-needed changes in your life.

You need to stay disciplined to reach any goal, even if your objective is meeting the person of your dreams. Don’t give up hope and don’t give up trying. And keep in mind that ‘trying’ may just mean being friendly when new people approach you.

wow, both of these horoscopes relate to today!  At around 12:30 am i ran over next door to trevors house and said "hey lets go to the park!"
"now?"
"yea right now! ill meet you at my car!"
after a few minutes has passed…
"you slowpoke *sticks tongue out at trevor*"
 any who from there we got into my car and decided to park the car at the asian gas station/grocery store because if we parked it in the park, the cops would see it and know we were there! since some teenagers came and lit the long lake center building on fire, cops routinely check the park to make sure nobody is there after 9pm.  So i parked the car and we started walkiing towards the park. no sooner did we reach the entrance a cop pulled up and went into the park. so we turned around and walked back to my car. the cop passed us and was waiting for us there. we were both really scared because we didnt want him thinkin we were into drugs or anything, but when we got there and he asked us what we were doing i just told him the truth , that we were going to go for a walk in the park but when we saw him enter we guessed it wasnt a good idea. he nodded and said "have a good night" and then we left! lol we were laughin and joking about how stupid it was. so we ended up goin to another park i discovered above down town port orchard.  trevor pushed me on the swings and we hung out for a bit and then we left.  now this is the cool part….as we were driving down long lake we both saw a big dark figure crossing the road in front of us. i immediatley thought it was an oversized raccoon and slowed down to take a look and make cutesy noises at it, but right when i did, my lights shone on something much bigger, darker, and the lights from my car made its eyes glow red. it turned and showed its teeth and instead of stopping i just kept goin. Trevor asked "hey! where are you going? lets head back and see what that thing was! it was huge!"
"did you see the eyes? they were glowing red! and it showed its teeth! THERE WERE FANGS!"
"what? i didnt see that, i only saw something really big and dark crossing the road"
"well i saw it. it turned and i saw its glowing red eyes and fangs! that thing was closer to my side of the car and it looked like it was going to attack! It had to be a bear"
"or maybe it was a SASQUACH"
"dont say that!"
"oooh a monster"
"shut up trevor! it had to be a bear, i mean racoons arent that color or that big and kyotes dont look like that either! and dont say its "something"  because that makes it seem like a monster."
"its something its something its something!"
"grr i hate you"
so yea we kept driving and i kept looking in my rear view mirror to make sure it wasnt following us. im usually not afraid to stop and look at any type of animal, but the look of this ones face, and the size…..it scared me so bad!"
when we got back and i said goodnight i couldnt stop thinking about it and i was scared.  Later that day ,after i got some sleep and had gone to school, i told my mom about what we saw. i told her ive been seeing a lot of animals lately which is really weird. she got out her animal totem book and read what bear meant. it said that seeing a bear, or thinking that you saw a bear, usually means that its an invitation to go to my quiet place and to start trying to find the answers within myself.  everyone has a quiet place they go to in their minds, whether its a big field with flowers and you are completely alone, or its a cliff above an ocean.  there, when you can get your mind completely quiet, you can find the answeres you seek within yourself.  it was funny that my mom read that passage because ive been talking to god a lot lately about why im not able to figure a lot of things out, and how i feel like im having a hard time getting quiet and being able to think like i used to.  i feel like i coulndt hear the messages god would give me as well. my mind is always too cluttered and there are so many things i need answers too, even though i know they are inside of me i cant seem to go to that quiet place.  that is what seeing the bear represented, the need to meditate, and now my horoscope tells me the same.  what a weird day! and my second horoscope is right also. its hard trying to not lost hope that i will find someone, and im still trying, ive been trying. problem with me is, i have a tendency of pushing the good things away from me because im scared.  I really am trying to be more friendly, im working on it, and once im able to really get used to this "being asked out on dates" thing, im sure ill feel much more comfortable, but for now im a mess when it comes to anything new. sigh.  sometimes i can tend to send out a cold vibe even when i dont mean it or meant to.  sometimes it takes those who look beyond my cold exterior to make me feel comfortable around them.  trevor is trying, he really likes me, and when he says that he does and he compliments me, i just smile and blush and dont say anything. i dont know what to say! i dont know if i should say i like him too because what is considered liking a person? if i enjoy his company then do i like him? if it feels good when he puts his arm around me and he makes me blush, does that mean i like him? if i stay up really late waiting for him to come home, does that mean i really like him? or does it just mean that im longing for that feeling of someone to compliment me and hold me and make me feel good about myself.  is he just my comfort guy? i dont know what to think. what is what?  all i know is that i like spending time with him ^_^