another weekend

ok, well my last entry was from last weekend. This weekend we hung out with the guys again. I was still angry about jarrod driving drunk, but i was nice to him and i was friendly. I mostly talked to ryan.  he likes the discovery channel like i do and he likes photography. He showed me some awesome sunset pics he took. I really liked talkin to him hes really cool. I dont like him like a crush or anything i just like chillin with him cus hes nice. i didnt feel any kind of click between us. ne who we had fun. everyone was drunk except for me so i got to see how funny everyone was. Joey and Jarrod were so entertained by my being able to slide really fast across their wooden kitchen floor lol. anyone can do it but they were like “nooooo nobody can do it like you, you are the slide master!” lol it was so funny. they wanted me to put the football helmet back on to take pics too haha. They are such silly funny guys. Joey was like “your so small i just wanna spin your around on my finger!” lol. and Jarrod put my fur lined hooded jacket on and it looked so funny! his arms were way too long for the sleeves lol. i never laughed so hard in so long. Then everyon decided to play truth or dare, and megan so bold she stripped to her bra and undis when she was dared too! and ryan was comando and cara dared him to go naked, so he did! he was laying on his stomach on the floor so i felt safe to take a few glances at him. i just couldnt believe there was a naked man in the room! NAKED. lol. he was dared to run down the driveway and it was so funny seein him run out there. it was too dark to see his pee pee so it didnt matter. but it was hilarious. Soon , cara had her shirt off and of course they all wanted me to strip haha. I only took my shirt off cus my bra covered everything pretty much, but i didnt take my pants off. i felt like we were in middle school again. I was dared to kiss joey, but i said i would only give him a peck. So i was fine with that. but jarrod was dared to kiss me and i said only a peck and hes like ” oh come on i cant just give a peck!” after a while i said ok but when he leaned in i just couldnt do it. i kept my mouth closed and we barely touched lips. it was horrible but i told him i just couldnt and that i was sorry. it just didnt feel right and i wasnt comfortable. i realized that night that what happened with adriel really emotionally damaged me. Ive become more of a feminist and i dont like guys getting to close to me or touching me or kissing me, even if its jsut friendly truth or dare. I not only dont trust him anymore but any guy thats around me.  Ryan tried dancing with me and i just moved away. i know they wondered why i wanst just being wild and having fun and stuff, but its going to be a long time till im able to get out of the shell im in.  anyway i still had fun that night. I met DJ ( the owner of the now famous football helmet lol). hes so big im surprised he thinks he cant make it to NFL! i caught him singing along to usher which i thought was awesome. i love it when guys sing. well id rather not talk about the next day of my weekend. any way right now the super bowl is goin on. My friend megan wins 5 bucks from joey if the patriots win lol. Im not that into football so i dont really care. my dad has his buds over and he let me have a mikes hard lemondade. that was good. well i gotta start practicing my music for choir. bye peeps

Hannah