another lesson learned..

Whenever i get in my car to go to work i always check my mirrors, make sure im in a comfortable position, check my emergency break, and always put my seatbelt on. i always make sure i have a cd that i want to listen to ready and playing on my cd player so that i dont have to mess with it. i am always prepared and always cautious. today however, one mistake almost led to my death.  Once in a whily my cd player (thats hooked up to an adapter to my car stereo) will stop playing and start again.  Today when i was 4 minutes from my home on my way to work, the cd player stopped. usually i pick it up with my right hang while still looking straight ahead at the road ahead and i then hold the cd player in front of me by the steering wheel so that i can fix the problem without my focus being taken away form the road.  today however, when it turned off, i made the mistake of looking over at the cd player to try to fix it instead of bringing it in front of me. i only looked for a second but in that second of motion i had unknowlingy swerved to the right up onto an embankment! my car was almost on its side and i quickly turned the wheel to the left to steer myself off of the embankment but when i put my foot on the gas my car went even higher onto the embankment and i sped down really fast and landed with a big bounce! it was VERY rainy and there was more than an inch of rain on the street .so when my car hit the street  i thought that if i just kept my foot on the peddle and steered straight that i could just keep going and things would be fine, but i hydroplaned and my car swung out and sped straight across the street, up and over another small embankment, through some bushes and into a tree. the other embankment was at least 10 ft high and i went half way up. i was lucky that i could keep it from rolling! at this point i was lucky that there were tons of bushes in front of the tree to keep me from having a hard enough impact that probably would have crushed part of me. the airbags came out and wacked me pretty hard. i thought i had hit my head and chest on the dashboard but it was the airbag! my windshield was broken and this gassy fume started filling the car. i couldnt breath so i quickly unbuckled my seatbelt , turned off my car and got out. my legs were shaking and i couldnt feel my face, it was completely numb! i thought my nose was broken because it seems so squished and my lips were protruding enormously as if i injected cologin in them. i was very lucky. at that moment i was very happy i had my volvo instead of my brothers lexus. i called my dad and he quickly came to get me. someone however had already called the police and so they were there first to get a report. they didnt give a crap that i was soaked to the bone in the pouring rain or that i was shaking and scared because i was just in my first car accident, they just wanted to know if i had everything on me and asked me for a report so they could see what they could cite me for. they just wanted to see how much money they could get off me. they ended up citing me for driving off the road because i was supposed to be able to control my vehicle. one hundred and fifty-three dollars. 😛 i feel worse than a peice of shit. i feel so low. i totaled a car my dad worked hard to get for me and treated it like shit.  he told me that it would be more cost to fix the car then to get another, but i feel like i dont deserve another car.  i feel shitty. my nose looks like a troll, its so big. my lips are huge like angelina jolies (but they dont look good on me ). my nose burns like when you blow your nose way too much, and my lips feel like they have been paper cutted all over. i also have whip lash burn above my eye and upper right cheek. ugh. i look so ugly. man have i learned a lesson. sigh. at least i dont have to pay my insurance this month.