Smokie Jo

I swear.

This cat is 22.

We think

If shes over 20 so why nit pick at numbers.

Being a stay at home mom with 4 kids and babysitting infant and toddler nieces, i had a house rule. No pets till everyone was out of diapers and off formula.

Why create and extra expense of another living thing.

All i know is z was still in diapers, and he did potty train early. He was old enough that he could run from me and kick.  (He walked very early too. Super early) And i told him after a battle if he had one accident the diaper went on and i remembered thinking he was way too young to comprehend what i was asking.

And i was wrong. He never had an accident. Never.

So smokie is 21 or 22, since z is 22. Z was born in may.

We got smokie in July so we deemed her birthdate may 1st.

So i just dont know. I dont feel z was in a diaper at 2 years old. Because he stopped SO young.

Anyhoo. Smokie.

Kitty alzheimers to the max, but shes healthy as a horse and can find her litter box 99.999% of the time.

Smokie is at a point it reminds me of my moms last year where she has probably lost that ability to know shes full.

My mom always wandered saying “i am hungry” and she wasnt, therefore she got sick alot being too full. Till they figured this out.

So smokie sits at a bowl till its empty. Gets up. Walks around. Sees a hooman and decides she hasnt seen this person FOREVER so shes “hungry ”

She cant eat dry anymore. She broke 3 teeth before i realized this.

And i am mixing the pate’ with hot water to puree’ it.

She cant do chunks. Hasnt been able to do slices or shreds for years. She chokes. She got a hold of a little chunk of bacon about 3 weeks ago and i thought this was it. Kitty heimlich or let her go. But she got it back up. It WORE her out! Such a goob.

This cat has never weighed over 5 lbs. I think one time she got up to 6.1

After grizz died she got down to 4.4.

And i would hold her and sob.

And then one day she just woke up and was hungry.

And my sobs turned into “my gosh how are you alive!! Such a freak”

I need sleep.

My schedule has been all over the place lately.  I am active gramma. A normal day for me is to get off work, get baby M from the sitter and come home and have her till possibly 10pm.

I wake up at 4.

When i am not active gramma i am IN bed lights out at 9. I may watch tv. Listen to music,  do crossword puzzles on my phone, but i have guidelines to get rest or its stressful on me.

Before grizz died 4am i worked out, yoga, meditation and walked 2 miles (used to be 7 miles, but barklay got fat and i am not walking at 430am without my dog or some protection)

I haven’t gotten back into that routine yet, even though i still get up at 4 am.

And i need to

Badly

So. Like this morning.

Smokie gets lost in the dark. Her vision began slacking years ago. She hasnt had depth perception since she was probably 12.

So 3 rounds of her “squalling’ this morning before the sun is even up. Because she wants food.

Now.

I always say “smokie lets sleep”

To a deaf cat.

Z and M love getting her in ear when shes asleep and just scream.

She sleeps through it. Breathing doesn’t miss a rhythym

She stresses me and i start pleading with her and realize i am the one stressing me because she cant hear me. At all.

Shes getting under feet now. Shes never done that before. Very clingy. Like maybe her vision is going more.

So the other day i tripped over her again. Dropped the groceries everywhere so i got angry and shook a plastic bag inches from her. Well her back was to me so she had no clue i was trying to run her off.

Then had her Dory moment, i like to call them, where she turned, saw me and was like “oh HEY! I am hungry ”

No clue she had met me at the back door. Came down the steps with me. Was so happy to see me she tripped me.

I REALLY dont understand what her purpose is on this earth.

She smells like rotted road kill in the sun.

Sure cant have her teeth pulled.

So i wait.

She sleeps with me.

Shes a lap kitty.

At least on me i know shes sleeping and not screaming every time she turns around that shes hungry.

When she does pass i probably still wont sleep because i will think i hear her and still wake up.

Exhausted life for me😁