Independent Study vs. Sleep

2:14 am

Ha, guess which one won.

Oddly enough, I forgot about this song until it randomly came on the acoustic radio station I was listening to.  Very underrated song. I know they play around 10 seconds of it in Donnie Darko when Donnie & Grechen are walking down the stairs together during the party at his house. I think I’ve seen that movie too many times. I have nearly all of it memorized.

Onto other things b/c I should have started this entry over an hour ago. Instead I was easily distracted by other things. I didn’t sleep at all last night. In fact I haven’t slept in 40 hours. I’ve just lacked the desire or the drive to go to sleep. I’ve been more interested in letting my mind have free reign over everything. So I stayed up studying Buddhism.. mulling a lot of things over. I re-familiarized (is that a word?) myself with the story of Siddhartha. I had first read it during my Philosophy of Religions class in college. Again, his whole life amazes me.

As odd as it sounds, I spent most of my time today just doing that & listening to this nifty AOL acoustic station. I feel like I got a lot of things straightened out in my head today. I didn’t get any feelings straightened out, but I feel like I have a better understanding of them.

This entry is not nearly as good as it should be, due to my sleep deprivation. My eyes have been playing tricks on me for a couple of hours now. But hey, I would gladly do it again.  During the evening hours, I filled up 6 pages (front & back) w/quotes from Buddha. Lots to meditate on (while I’m at work too, lol) over the next few days. My journal will fill quickly w/ideas & philosophical ramblings, I’m sure.

For now, I think it’s time to retire. W/that I will leave you w/a quote & a bit of vague crypticism (look, I’m making up more words):

"Fill your mind with compassion."
– Buddha

You were always, always the exception. I love you more than you’ll ever know.