Blog #88

I gave blood two days ago. Twas an interesting experience. I waited about an hour and a half before they actually got underway…I really did wait that long for something pretty small. I really got it in my head, I guess, that I shouldn’t just keep standing around and doing not-so-much. And I’m good at waiting, even if it was outside in pretty hot/humid weather. It’s all good.

I saw a girl there whose smile reminded me eerily of Jacinta’s. She was absolutely gorgeous, so beautiful. When she smiled, I mean. Hrm. I tried not to watch too much, to not be that kinda guy….so I did a lot of reading instead. Then I was in the bus. I was worried about my ID not being valid anymore since I didn’t update it recently (I’m still using wisconsin ID), but they didn’t care as long as it had my # and my photo. Then I filled everything out on the forms they gave me and it kinda struck me that, even though I’m not the best with my body, I’m a lot cleaner/healthier than most people are. A LOT cleaner. I only answered yes to one question, the one about “Have you ever had a heart or lung condition?” one. I had a heart murmur as a child that I outgrew pretty quickly. So I wrote that down. I suspect, though, that it hasn’t gone completely away, just like my asthma hasn’t, at least not completely. In retrospect, I probably should’ve said something about my asthsma too. Oh well. Anyway, they took my back, gave me a quick physical, did my bp and tested my platelets and whatnot. I got pricked in the finger for the blood and whatnot…gotta love that.

Actually I didn’t so much. I hate needles and I hate poking. I’d rather you sliced me open with a knife or stabbed me. Those honestly feel better than needles, to me. If I wasn’t being so hard with myself about doing this I would’ve been nowhere near that bus for giving blood. When they actually took me up to actually give blood, I would’ve been shaking if I hadn’t held my body still as much as I did. I think…that fear of needles is one of the few fears that carried over as I grew numb. To some extent fear of heights did too, but that one is pretty easily squashed. Not so much with needles, though. It bothered me quite a bit as he slipped the needle inside and I jumped a tiny bit even though I was doing my best to hold still. I really don’t like the fact that there are still some things in the physical world that can overcome my mind as far as what I’m doing…I don’t like my irrational little fear at all. Anyway, I did fine in the end though and I gave a good bit of blood. A pint I think. And weighing 135 I’m pretty positive I don’t have the average of 10 pints in my body. So like an eighth of blood I think. Yey? Yeah…

I was wearing my shirt too, the one that says “And you will not stand idly by.” I was talking with the nurses about it (they asked), the black guy and and little white lady and it was really nice, actually. The lady came up from the desk and talked to me some more while I was getting blood drawn too. I thought to myself that I was doing good at being pleasant and being nice and that I was being the sort of person that I thought Jacinta would love and be proud of loving. That made me feel strangely happy with how I was holding myself, actually….I’m not entirely sure why I even thought it, to be honest. The black guy was pretty cool too, he talked with me about college and life and things and he teased me about not knowing what I wanted to do…heh. He also told me about what hemocrit was when I asked. Yey for knowing new things.

I pushed it a little too much on my way home though. I got up too quickly, moved too fast. I got very light-headed, almost dizzy at times and I grew very, very short of breath. I made it home alright though and I was alright. I was pretty well on-guard for passing out. The heat and humidity was too brutal to just ignore, honestly. S’all good. I really need to get used to this florda weather, though…it’s a LOT different from what i’m used to.

I think I did good things that day and I was happy to do them.