Blog #77

I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I wrote an entry about farting. Moving on.

Today was a good day. A little tired still, I’m still catching up, but a good day nonetheless. I’m really feeling nice today, even though my stomach has been bothering me slightly. I got flowers today and everything. ^___^ I like knowing that people .> I dunno, oh well.

I wonder if I should ramble some more here. It’s been a while since I’ve examined anything other than my thing with Jacinta on here. The things I hope for don’t really count either, that’s entwined with her too. I mean like…life, the universe and everything. I haven’t talked about those sorts of things for quite a while.

Maybe it’s because I’m satisfied with what I’ve come to. At least for now. I’m fairly sure I’ll learn more soon, feel more soon and then I’ll write about that, too. For now though, I’m satisfied with what I’ve come to. It’s nice to just feel the connection to the earth and everything in it and to just feel that rather than needing to think about that or speak it. Sometimes it’s better to just feel. Today at a crosswalk I sat down and I held my hand to the ground and stopped looking and I just felt. I could almost feel the pulse of the stone beneath my fingers, I could feel it’s depth and all the life and essence of life living beneath it. There’s something so special about moments like that. I love feeling connected to everything like that. I really, honestly do. It makes me smile.

I think my worries about lack of friends before was misguided too. I was underestimating my relationships, I think. I keep finding more and more people who’ll have my back here at fullsail, even if they barely know me. Mike is like that with me…we’ve had a really dynamic relationship ever since fullsail started. We play off each other pretty well and get along pretty well too. There’s Bart too, I forgot about him. That’s the pretty-boy quarterback friend of mine. I forgot how tight we are even though we, too, don’t know each other that well. There was something about both having played football that really brought us together. I miss playing football, actually. I should’ve tried out for the Wabeno team. Strange though, that something as small and negligible as both having played football should bring too people so different together. I’m glad he’s here though. He really saved me, in a quiz I forgot to bring the circuitboard that I needed to to do the test. Bart though, he got up and brought me one before everything went down. That’s impressive, I’m not used to people having my back like that. There was nothing ever said about it later either. It was just like…he had my back. That’s all there was to it. I like that feeling. I’m trying to be more like that too. To my own demise, in some instances. Like lately. Tom was looking for someone to trade schedules with him for two days of his lab schedule. No one was willing to and I mulled over it as I saw him and I decided I would just to help him out. He obviously really wanted it or he wouldn’t be asking everyone. So I told him I’d do it. It’d make for a terrible, shitty shitty day, a 9am to 1pm day to 9pm to 1am lab to 5am to 9am lab to 9am to 1pm class to another 9pm to 9am lab. Factor in the half hour walks to and from class and lab and suddenly I only have 7ish hours to sleep if I just immediately fall down on my bed and sleep. Which won’t happen, I need to take care of things, I’m not the teenager I used to be. So I have 6 hour of sleep outside of those, and then there’s the issue of food. I won’t be eating if I don’t spend some time on that, so there goes another hours. So 5 hours of sleep (if I fall asleep immediately, which is rare) into effectively 16 hours of class since I won’t have time to get back and sleep from the 1am to 5am class. But that’s alright. If I can’t make sacrifices for other people, what good am I? I won’t be really helping others if I don’t make sacrifices. So I told myself, don’t be a bitch, just do it. This is what you want, you want to be a better person so be one. And so I did. It’ll be worth it. I’m capable of handling that schedule, no problem. It’d only happen twice for the month, that’s doable.

Whoo, I’m offtrack. Point is I have more people who’d get my back than I once thought. Other point is I’m doing better at being there for others too. That’s a good thing. I’m helping Tom out for whatever reason (I didn’t even care enough to ask him why, just the point that he’s willing to get the sort of day I’m going to have tells me he probably has a pretty damn good reason for him. That’s enough for me). I helped RK out too. Basically the same thing Bart did for me. RK screwed up his circuitboard and the lab instructors told him he couldn’t work on it anymore, so I gave him one of mine and saved him, too. Tis how you do it. That really made me feel good too. I’m not used to feeling like that. I’m really not. It’s nice.

OoOo, side note, Jacinta apparently hasn’t read my entries today yet. I can’t wait to see her reaction to the last one. I bet it’ll totally catch her offguard. >=]

Another side-note. I got flowers today. ^____________^ I like my flowers. It’s a boquet of a lot of things. There’s a rose in it, two carnations, some daffodils, some daisies and some other things too that I should know the name of but don’t. And then there are the ferns and babies breath and whatnot. It’s really pretty. It has a vase too. I’ma keep it. ^.^

Anywho, I need to sleep for my lab. Meh. I didn’t want to be sleeping during the day but my mess up with not having slept for class the first day is kind of forcing me to until thursday. Argh. Oh well, I’ll fix it then. Much love!