Blog #51

Another songcraft day. Hooray. I think I might actually be in the mood for that today, too. See, I have songcraft (which is essentially a pointed music theory class) every tuesday and thursday. The last two days I haven’t been into my classes at all so much, heh. But I’m feeling a bit better today. I have no idea why I’m feeling better but I am all the same. This morning was actually pretty pleasant which is almost a shock compared to how bothered I was yesterday.

I did a lot of good things yesterday though….took a guy out to eat who didn’t have any money and everything. Actually that was kind of weird. I felt really untrusting of him the whole time which I don’t normally do. I can’t tell if there was something about him that bothered me or if it was just because I was so high-strung that day. But at any rate, it’s fine, I can spare 5 bucks. *Shrug* Even if it doesn’t make me feel any better at the time, heh. Usually that thing kinda makes me feel good but not this time. Just uneasy. Bah, I was uneasy all day, that was probably it.

I made it to all my classes too, even though I almost didn’t. I was VERY close to just not going to my labs but I think I knew that I was only thinking that all along and that I was going to go anyway, heh. I was just thinking it because…actually I don’t know why. I just was. But I really can’t miss school now lest I fall behind and that would be bad, so I don’t miss a day. Yes, I’m actually running perfect attendance for this month again. I got kinda bad about that sometimes during the prereq classes after I missed that one lab because of a screwed up time of having lab and I didn’t realize it. So now that my shot at perfect attendance is gone, I just would skip once in a while when I could. Not often, but like a day a month when I knew I could afford to because I knew everything. Now I really don’t know everything and so I don’t. I finally got past the BS part of the college and now I’m into my actual course and into what RA is all about. And I got nothing on this so I’m gonna show up even if I’m sick at the time because otherwise I’ll fall behind. There are just so many small variables, any one of which could totally screw you and make everything else not work. It’s very, very technical job. Which is a good thing in a lot of ways; it’s going to be difficult to do just because of that, especially do well, and beyond that you need a good ear and a good sense of what sounds good. Without that you won’t get the job either. But me, I know I’m quick enough and smart enough to pick up the technical stuff faster than most of the guys around me and I also know I have an ear so I’m pretty sure that I’ll be able to make this into a job if I chose to. At least against these other guys I’m working with nowadays. In some ways it’s like I’m going back to high school all over again. I don’t really know the material all that well this time, but I’m still the guy people come to to ask for help or to show them how. It’s weird how often too, especially in lab. It’s nice to be respected like that. I had almost forgotten what it was like to be a teacher in a physical sorta way.

On a totally different note altogether, my body is starting to tell me weird things. Things I wouldn’t have expected, at any rate. Soda is starting to taste different, starting to taste bad, actually, and I don’t want it at all even though, by habit, I get it anyway. That’s my bodies way of telling me it doesn’t want it because I have enough of whatever food X has and it wants another. Strangely enough, these taste swings usually do follow the food pyramid too, so I think it’s because it’s after whatever nutrients it needs for whatever process and it doesn’t want things it already has a lot of. Which might explaing my wild swings in what I eat at any given time, heh. I usually listen to what I want. Obviously because the other stuff doesn’t taste good, haha. But soda? Hrm. I wonder that that means. It doesn’t want that tea stuff either, nor energy drinks. Strangely I’m craving milk water and, of all things, orange juice. o.O As far as what food it actually wants I’m not sure. But I know it wants those liquids. I have time today so maybe I’ll do that today.

My body is also a reflector of the things I’m really feeling and the things I’m really thinking. It reacts where my mind won’t always, especially when I’m nervous. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m nervous until I feel sick to my stomach for no apparent reason. Sometimes it’s obvious that I’m probably nervous, other times it’s not so obvious. But generally when I feel sick without having a hard reason for being sick it’s probably my body reacting to emotion that I’m not actually conciously feeling. I still have problems with muting the things I really feel, especially if they’re very positive and/or very negative. So generally you have to look at how I’m actually feeling to be tipped off as to what and then you guess. Yeah. That’s awesome, isn’t it? I have to guess at a great deal of my stronger emotions as to what they are. Heh. But anyway, I’ve been feeling sick lately. Hrm. Yesterday and today I understand, I’m conciously worried and I’m probably more so underneath everything. But two days ago I was too. Maybe they’re connected. Hrm. Weird. I have no idea what is being said since I was almost definately not sick that day and I know the sick feeling the past two days is connected to my being worried; it’s not a sickly sick feeling. Hrm.

Well, I’m gonna post this and get ready now I think. Then grab something to eat before I get to class so I don’t have to screw around with grabbing something to eat between classes. Much love and whatnot. I’ll leave you with a joke though.

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A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m so sorry, your duck has passed away.”
The distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m quite sure. The duck is dead,” he replied.

“How can you be so sure,” she protested. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman.
The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “£150!”, she cried. “£150 just to tell me my duck is dead?”

The vet shrugged. “I’m sorry.” “If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now £150.”