Blog #39

Hopefully I pwned that test yesterday. Let me check to see if grades are up yet; as of yesterday night they weren’t. Nope, not yet. Later on today though they should be up. I’m pretty unsure of how I did on this one. I have this feeling that I noobed it up. Hrm.

I started on my body cleansing thing. Yeah, I went out and bought one of those things that make you feel like crap but clean out your system. They’re expensive little bastards too, let me tell you. But I strongly suspect it’ll make me feel better in the long run though. Possibly help me tos leep even better than I have been lately. Should be a good thing in the long run. We’ll see how it turns out. Just how bad is it gonna get? Heh. So far it’s actually good. I like the taste of the fiber powder. And the pills were tasteless.

I had a weird dream last night. It was about Jacinta, too, I remember. And some other people. And I kept losing teeth throughout the dream. Started with my front left, then my front right. They kept getting hit or otherwise disturbed and then I’d touch them with my toungue or my fingers and they’d just twist and then snap right out. It was more than mildly disturbing, to say the least, walking around feeling like you had no front teeth along the top row. So you couldn’t smile or do anything like that. I don’t remember much else of the dream, though. I do remember thinking and deciding on some issues though. Yes, in the dream. I remember thinking about Kelley and things and how I probably need to slowly scythe them from my life and whatnot, for one. I’m never going to get another chance if I borderline or only go halfway. Even though I’m not sure I even want or will take another chance, that currently is the ultimate goal (yeah yeah, I know I don’t have a strict ultimate goal, I don’t really care. It’s fine with me. Since I am unsure it makes sense that I don’t have a set-in-stone ultimate goal so I’m able to fluidly change my goal to something new if necessary). My current fluid-and-not-really-all-that-much-of-a-goal ultimate goal. So One should always follow his goals as much as possible and I intend to do just that. Even if it isn’t much of a goal because I’m trying to balance myself w/ her. And I’m way too attracted/currently close to kelley right now so I’m going to start doing that now. I’ve already started in a lot of ways, actually, but I need to stop thinking and saying things and I need to start doing them. I’ve noticed that, in this current frame of things and mode I’m better at being pleasant and being helpful (even if it is easy for me to slip up and snap sometimes 🙂 but I lose a LOT of the strength of my willpower and focus to do the things I choose to do. I think that’s because I’m trying to do so many things at once rather than just focusing on one thing at once. So then you have to make a hierarchy of goals and then let certain ones give way to more important ones. This is a very new way of thinking for me and quite honestly; it’s not easy for me to do it well. In fact I suck at it I would say, heh. Hrm. But either way, starting to slowly pull myself back-and-away from the other negative influences on the net. There’s just too much negativity here and not enough positivity and it’s going to (and currently is) affecting who I am as a person. I can’t allow that to happen now, though; it clashes with my goals. So…yeah.

At any rate, I’m going to be late now. Blargh. Oh well, I probably will only be like, a couple minutes. But that’s ok, I wanted to talk about this and I’m basically never gone/tardy anyway, so once won’t be that big of a problem. Especially since I have a really good relationship w/ my teacher. Hooray. Alright, I’m out. Much loves. <3