Blog #19

Quick rundown of the situation:

Emotionally I’ve been kinda fucked up. Outside of the slipping back into one of my more lonely frame of minds, which isn’t all that bad, I’ve been awfully angsty lately. Annoying. Tis painful for me and for others too, I’m sure. I’ll snap out of it soon enough though, I always do. Angst isn’t something I do well for long periods of time.

Class has been going better than i expected it to go. I’ve been doing pretty damn well.

Social life is kinda gone now that everyone has cliqued up. I’m not really part of a clique though I get along with a lot of people and am known by quite a few. That might be better in the long run, though, as far as networking. I do, however, talk a lot with Amy and Jen now. I told Jen a bit about Jacinta, strangely enough. I think I could really get to like her. It’s strange how I get along with punkish girls pretty well. Amy is turning out to be more and more strange. Not sure if I put it down here before, but more than ever she reminds me of Jessica. I’m pretty certain she’s far more nervous underneath it all than she expresses; it shows. I think there’s most likely trouble at home, too. Hrm hrm hrm…I wonder. At the same time, she’s very odd and strange. I honestly don’t understand her or what she’s about. That’s intriguing. Other than these guys and some chatting with Bart and random hellos and smalltalk, nothing’s been happening outside of my talking with my roommate, which isn’t all that often. Things have been extremely quiet socially.

Spiritually I’ve been reaching out and trying to conform myself to the specific scenes and emotions of a book i’m reading, “The Death of Vishnu.” It’s written by an indian writer and the emotions in the writing are extremely powerful. It’s interesting to conform myself to them and to feel and understand the people; I’m learning from them. No new revelations lately, no real ground gained. Just building myself up again til I eventually reach one.

Schedule-wise it’s been rough lately. Lots of class, lots of tests, not a whole lot of sleep. Annoying, to be sure. Tonite I get to sleep though and for that I am thankful.

I think that’s all of the key points I need to be hitting on as far as a rundown…hrm…so with that, time to sleep. Yes. I’m sleeping at 11:48. I’m tired. I haven’t slept enough lately because of labs and lots of class, so lemme alone.