#689

Changed my background and I don’t like it much. The white on black suits me a lot more than the black on green. I wouldn’t change it at all if my background didn’t magically swap to white half the time. I sincerely dislike needing to reload my page until it works correctly, so for now I’m leaving it this way. If my background goes white it can still be read….so yeah. 

Had a long day yesterday. I went to sleep early in the morning and got woke up a few hours later for a call, suicide. Anyway, my partner Jeff knew the guy, he had been on the squad before I came on. He was somewhat cut up by it for the first half hour we stood around waiting for the medical examiner and it kinda concerned me. Never actually seen Jeff upset by anything before. I put my hand on his shoulder and then let it be. To me it was just a body. I’ve deleted the rest of this because it was graphic and I don’t imagine anyone is actually interested in that but me. 

So. Tomorrow I’m going to get my car washed up and get everything ready for saturday. The date is going to start at the zoo and then we’re going to take it where we feel from there. I’m fairly excited, I bet it’s going to be pretty enjoyable. Amanda seems a very enjoyable person, though I wonder if she’ll end up being more of a friend instead. Whatever, I have no expectations, I’m just going to have fun and things are always more fun with a friend. And if she doesn’t like me, then fuck it, there are others. My current plan for the day is the zoo first ofc, but dinner/lunch at an asian place. I’m kinda hoping for the mongolian place, but it depends on her tastes too. Other than that, RANDOMSAUCE. Spending the whole day together might be a bit much, but eh, if it does turn balls up I’ll beg off because I’ll need to sleep for work on sunday. Which is true, I probably will go into it tired. Hue! 

Speaking of which, my being up this late and this tired is prob dumb of me too. I still have four hours til I’m off. Bah, no one better do anything stupid, it’s my type-ey time damnit.

Here, have this: 

  

Loves it! 

That song totally captures the mood I’m in most of the time lately. I swing downwards as ever but my new tactic of spinning the waves works pretty well and I’ll ramp back up. What I mean by that is…I don’t reject the negativity, instead I throw myself into the feeling and I’ll sink low, really low then my natural emotional reaction then is to rebound. And if you encourage that upswing and hold onto it by doing good things and focusing on the things you enjoy you can stay high for longer. It’s sort of like spinning, it reminds me of those dancers with streamers. My days feel so strange…I feel like a completely different person than the guy I’ve been and every day I keep like this the easier is to stay this way. I’m way less neurotic. Much more…something. A mix of ebullient, flow and the sound of a knuckle-rap on wood maybe. 

Or maybe I’m just be in a bit o’ a manic phase. I could certainly be doing that kind of thing, nevermind that I’m not manic depressed. Ho hum. 

I’ve been doing tarot spread for random people a good bit lately on a image board I occasionally frequent. I think it’s pretty useful to them and interesting to me. See, I let the cards fall as they come, but the real interesting part of it is talking with the person you’re doing the tarot throw for, trying to figure out what the cards mean. It seems like that for a lot of people it’s really hard to talk to someone about something just straight up, but it’s really easy to talk when you’re not talking about them, but rather about the cards. It’s pretty neat for me to do too, I’ve done them for a lot of people, for most people really. If you ever want me to do one for you, let me know. ^___^ 

I should do another public one for me on here soon. Could be neat. 

  *twirls* 

I feel like I should’ve been born a magician with a pot belly and a suit. The kind with a stiff white shirt in front and tails in the back and one of those black canes capped on both ends with white. I could be walking down the boulevard twirling my stick and yell obscure pronouncements. Seems like the life I was born to live, really. 

I still have more ideas I want to put down but keep putting off. Sorry sorry, I’ve been all over and keeping myself busy. Then OD was down when I wanted to do some work and….*raises fist in great vengeance!* 

Have this! 

It seems like that for a lot of people it’s really hard to talk to someone about something just straight up, but it’s really easy to talk when you’re not talking about them, but rather about the cards. It’s pretty neat for me to do too, I’ve done them for a lot of people, for most people really. If you ever want me to do one for you, let me know. ^___^ 

I should do another public one for me on here soon. Could be neat. 

  *twirls* 

I feel like I should’ve been born a magician with a pot belly and a suit. The kind with a stiff white shirt in front and tails in the back and one of those black canes capped on both ends with white. I could be walking down the boulevard twirling my stick and yell obscure pronouncements. Seems like the life I was born to live, really. 

I still have more ideas I want to put down but keep putting off. Sorry sorry, I’ve been all over and keeping myself busy. Then OD was down when I wanted to do some work and….*raises fist in great vengeance!* 

Have this!