22nd and Broadway
Written for a friend I adore. <3
It’s a mix of a few things, stories barely remembered, ideas unthought of for years. I think I should’ve gone different places w/ it right now but hm. I also don’t want to mess with it so I dunno.
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It’s raining out and I’m walking. It’s making rainbow puddles with the oils latent on the asphalt. It’s so beautiful. I can see the droplets of rain on every leaf on every tree, I see them dripping and shimmering. I see her, too, standing all alone two blocks down. The leaves are burnished yellows and oranges and they’re blowing down to the ground in droves, but I can still see her there, walking with your back towards me. Her hair is a golden blonde just shy of a platinum. It probably makes her stick out in most grounds, but in amidst all the colours of autumn it helps her blend in. I can see the grooves in her shoulders, faint lines where they’re tightened so-often. I wonder what it is? Job? Family? Lack of? No, definitely not lack of. The blouse is too nice, the jeans too designer. Whatever it is, though, I don’t much like it. No one deserves that kind of stress. Especially not someone so beautiful.
I don’t think she’s noticed me yet. I start to walk more quickly, no longer merely keeping pace. The others on the sidewalk make a path for me. I wonder for a moment if they realize or if there is something instinctual, something yelling BEAST, something yelling MONSTER driving them away. Then I’m lost again in my hedonistic reverie, drinking in the night and and gas-light shimmers in the rain. And the leaves, of course the leaves. There’s an idea hidden in those leaves, something about life giving way to death in order that more life might prevail. It’s beautiful in a way, everything coming full circle. All that.
I’m getting closer now and she looks behind her, right at me, then turns back and walks a little faster. It reminds me again about human intuition. Perhaps there’s something to it. I don’t know, half the time I believe it and half the time I don’t. I move faster. I start to breathe faster now. An affectation now, now I enjoy it and isn’t life meant to be enjoyed? Of course it is, so let us feast, let us wine, let us dance and let us LIVE a little. Whatever your flavour, let the artists paint, let the musicians play, live it. That’s how one ought to be.
.I’m close now and taking longer strides. She’s smaller and moving quickly too, practically running. I don’t think she’s aware yet of me, even now. She knows something is wrong, though. Terribly wrong. It’s cute in a way and it makes me smile. It seems to bring all the other things about her together, like a the bow on a present. My heart lurches a little and I frown. This always seems to happen. I do okay for a while but then….I just get too attached. I love too easy. I did in life too, that’s what led me to the current state of affairs, chasing after the women who drew me, chasing the ten out of tens, and I got something much more than I expected.
This woman, too, she’s perfect. A perfect example of what a woman ought to be. The careless bounce of her shimmering blonde hair, despite the rain. The way her shirt and jeans hug her body to accentuate her curves. Just the right shift in her hips when she takes a step. The clear skin, her strawberry-scent. The large doe-eyes filled with worry when she looks behind her and sees me so, so close.
I love her, I really do. I know it right down to the depths of my being. I know it when I catch her, I know it when I draw her in close and hear her gasp, creating a stirring within me not unlike sexual desire. I know what it really is, though. I need her, I need her, I NEED her. I have to have her and when I sink my teeth into her neck my heart soars. But even as I ride the waves of ecstasy I feel her crumple to the ground and I sink with her.
It breaks my heart every time. The women in my life break my heart every time.