20th and Broadway

And the reply I received. ;o

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It’s raining out, but I need fresh air and the time to think. It’s autumn, and the trees are glowing with their warm fall colors. There is a contrast between the cool, dark, rain and the golden, shimmering colors of the leaves catching the light of the evenly spaced street lamps. It’s beautiful.

I was hoping the walk would help me clear my head, yet as I see the leaves fall to the ground it feels like the thoughts, hopes, dreams that I had are drifting down with them. Even though each of them look beautiful, colorful, perfect….they fall down to fade and disappear. I recognize the cycle, but it saddens me. Moving from fall into the cold, stark, lonely winter.

I feel a sudden change in the air that interrupts my thinking. It sends a shiver down my spine, and I’m not sure where it comes from. I have this instinct to walk faster. My eyes begin to search the shadows, but they drift back to the lights. I am drawn to the light and my pace picks up to avoid the shadows and what I sense might be in them. My pulse and my breathing get faster, and I think for a moment that I feel more alive than I have felt in awhile.

My thoughts drift back to the reason I needed this walk, needed to clear my head. I think I’m just about to realize what it was, when I glance back again and see it, the shadow that has been moving with me. I gasp as I recognize him, not someone that I’ve met, but still someone I know.

I feel a rush and a desire to give in and surrender, even though I know how it will end, and so I do. I surrender, knowing it will not be enough even though it is everything.