#133

The plan is simple.

Nonchalance, forgetfulness.

Nonchalance as far as forgetting the bad things anyway. The plan is to forget all about the situations I’ve had in the past with others. Why should the past be such an overimportant reason of doing the things I do? I should continue to live in the present. Many things do change. A person needs to recognize that and flow with that. I need to recognize and flow with that. So I intend to let go of my past even more, to forget all the bad things and remember situations in general only in a detached sort of way. I’ll continue to remember the good things and I’ll focus on them. At least for now.

If I do this and just keep a positive outlook then things should be alright. In fact, I fully expect to see the same things happening before happening again in my life. Things do change, people grow and so do I, but some things are stay the same. The things that remain, despite time and distance, those are the things that count. Those are the things to count on and to believe in and to respect because they’ll stay the same no matter what happens.

I plan to forget my old relationship with Jacinta and let go of those ties and look to her once more for simply one thing; who she is now. Perhaps I’ll come to the same conclusion I did before about her; that we were simply meant to be. Who knows. It’s possible. Either way, letting go of the relationship it’s going to be easier to just flow with her and not let the problems of our current relationship poison the waters for how I feel for her now. If I held on I’d probably be pretty damn hurt by another one of these silences…I know it did bother me. Does, even. I’m still working on letting go but I will. Once I will I know I’ll still be able to support her and to love her and I know I’ll be able to at least be far enough away from the situation to try and do what’s best for her and for us. That’s what I ought to be doing.

I plan to forget my old experiences with my father as well. I plan to forget the distance and the hurt and the pain and rather focus on the things that’ve stayed the same throughout the relationship, just as I intend with Jacinta. My attempt at getting in contact with him failed, and now I’m much less certain of what I’m going to do as far as getting contact with him, but I will try again eventually. Why? Because the thing that has stayed the same throughout all the bullshit and bad times is pretty simple; he cares about me. I shouldn’t reject that.

I plan to forget the past with my brother and my mother, too. Much the same as I’m going to with my father, too. Things happen. That’s all there is to it. The plan is the same for all four, more or less. Forget the past, forget the hard times and focus on who they are now and react and believe based on that. That’s all. Simple plans are best for the things that matter.