To Mike

Its been 10 weeks today that we put you in the ground. It has not gotten any easier. I still see you laying there with all that make up on your face to cover the wounds. I still feel your cold hands under mine as I try to warm them up just a lil bit. I still feel guilty that I did not spend more on your coffin or your vault. I still wish it was me and not you in that damn box. I still get sick to my stomach when I eat because I know you can not. I still have to fake a smile so people dont worry that I have gone over the edge. I still feel guilty about all the things I could have done for you but did not. I still hate myself for going to bed early that last night you where over at my place. I can still hear mom and dad cry "No" when I told them you where dead.. I still hate myself for being alive while your dead.. I still have this deep dark hole where my heart used to be. I still miss you with all my being lil brother. I love you so much and I cannt wait till the day we are together again..

All my love

Billy

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"Bare is the back without brother to guard it."