To Mike

Hey lil brother. I keep wanting to write how you doing after that Because that was always the first thing I said to you and now I have to keep stoping myself from doing it. I miss you so much Mike.. Umm Mikey had another one of those bad headaches again tonight. Mom is going to take Mikey to the eye docs and get his eyes checked. I mean it seems only to be happening at the  end of a school day. So they are going to check into that before they take anymore steps. I sent Jess some infoe on Wills. I am not doing anything else but doing what she asks me to do. I am not putting any pressure on her on who to pic to take care of Mikey if the Gods forbid something should ever happen to her. Like I told her she has to take these steps so some Judge is not makeing it for her. I am just trying to protect the baby. I promised you I would and I am doing my best. He was talking my ear off tonight about WWF tonight after he got to feeling better. I guess all kids well I should say boys go thru that phase where they love WWF and all that goes with it 🙂 I am glad I remember enough of it to keep him happy..

Ah fuck bro. It does not get any easier. I miss you so much my friend. There is so much in my life that I would love talking over with you. I dont talk to anybody like I talked to you. I get angery when I hear people laugh. I mean its just a gut reaction to me that noone should be happy with you gone. I try to pretend with people and act like I used to before you left me, but I dont feel it brother. I feel like a fake. I just dont care about much anymore. takeing care of the family is the only thing that can get any real feeling out of me now adays. I just want to wake up and have this all be gone… Dream a good dream for us brother because I am sick of living this nightmare..

all my love

billy

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"Bare is the back without brother to guard it."