To Mike

Hello brother. Things are so fucked up with you gone brother. I could go into a ton of details but just trust me when I say none of use are the same. We are all so fucked uped mentally that I dont know if we will ever get back to some kind of state of normal. I hate this so much Mike. I miss you so much and I hate what your lost has done to our family. I just dont know anymore bro I just dont know. Some times it feels like it would be so easy to just spin down to the bottom and just give up. It would feel so good to just give up and let all this pain and hardship just slip away. But damnit I can not do that. It would mean causing more pain to those I left behind. Plus I have to help take care of Mikey. You fuck you always liked to take the easy way out and let me carry the heavey loads. Jess should be getting your life insurance soon and she has started to get the Soc. Ser. payments in. So you do not have to worry about her haveing enough cash to get by. Plus if she needs anything I will help out like you knew I would. Im tired brother I would love to just pull the blankets over my head and just sleep for a year and wake up with everything being ok and all this was just a nightmare. All made up just a fucked up dream made by drinking to much. But its not mike its not a dream no dream can be this fucked up…. Ahh shit mike Im getting back into this fucking broken record mode again… Wait for me brother wait for me…

billy

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"Bare is the back without brother to guard it."