To Mike

Hey Kido,
              I am still over your place. Everyone is coming over here to play poker and eat chili for Amy’s Birthday. She misses shareing her birthday with you. Dad went to work but just lost it and came home. He had a dream last night with  you in it. You where asking him to come and pick you up and he knew he could not.  Goddamnit mike I hate this so much. Some times I just feel like exploding. If there was something or someone I could blame i would destroy it with my bare hands. I miss so much being a big brother. Being a brother has always been the thing in my life that meant the most to me. "Bare is the back without brother to guard it." was always more then just a saying or a quote to me. I swear brother it was my credo it was the quarter stone of my soul my heart my very being. And now with you gone my walls are just coming down. Amy thinks I should still get that tatooed like we always said we where going to do, but with you gone I am not a brother anymore. Whats the point huh. TELL ME DAMN IT

I miss you brother, and I am sorry I am not mad at you Im just mad at the whole fucking world 😛 The girls went out last night for a drink. Well amy had one drink for her b day and jess had a coke. They asked if I wanted to go and I knew that if I started drinking and loseing what control I have someone would have left that bar on their back. I am so close all the time to just explodeing to just takeing out everyone and everything around me I knew I could not slip in my control. And you know me brother when a 550 pound man starts rolling their would be no stopping me 🙂 I love you brother dream a good dream for us

All my love

Billy

________________________________________________________

"Bare is the back without brother to guard it."