To MIke

Merry Christmas lil brother.. I am sorry this is getting to you so late but we just got back home  We have been gone since 0930  or so. First we went to Basils and had brunch. He made a couple keeshes. Basically fancy scrambled eggs with bacon and pototes :)… We got some cookies and money from him. Mikey got a bunch of carons and stuff llike that. Sandy and him loved the popcorn maker. Seems some nights thats all sandy eats for dinner is popcorn so i got a good call on that one this year. Then we went to Rich and Sues. Dinner was ok not great but ok. They just dont make the food like we do you know how that is. They gave amy and i some money and I got a sauce faroty pack and amy got a picture key chain, Kind of nice. they played card while mike and I watch Ku Fu Panda. Sry for the spelling and stuff I can barely keep my eyes open I have only gotten like 6 hours sleep in the past 48.

I seem to be saying sorry alot to you. I know its not "real" guilt but that damn surviors guilt. Knowing it and doing something about it is too different things. I know there is no real reason for me to feel so much guilt toward you but damn it I do. I feel like I could have done so much for more you but did not. But I swear kid i did not do it because I thought you would not want me to. I know you wanted to take care of things yourself and did not want me steping in all the time but I wish I did. I hated seeing you worry all the time. I hope someday we can find it with in ourselfs to forgive me 🙂  Dad is haveing a hard time and so is mom and so is Jess and well so is everyone. Mom and dad have been walking a fine line between fighting and not fighting.I  have to say this has been the "WORST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!" I miss you baby brother. Im sorry I did not stay longer on the 24th but I was getting soaked. After 20 or 25 mins or so in that rain and my poor jaket was soaked thru. I should have grabed my winter coat. Next time i will do better i promise. I will bring that book out whent the weather gets better and start reading it to you. OK?? LIke i said before you want me to come more often or less just let me know 😛

dream the good dream brother I cannt wait until we are one again

All my love

Billy

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"Bare is the back without brother to guard it."