Next Project: Myself

I haven’t written here in a while. Not much even in my hand-written journal. I have been in a journey of self-reflection for months and months now and I’ve been working on bettering my mental health, healing from childhood wounds, practicing being more of a human being rather than a working machine. I have made improvements on myself and some people notice it and I love it.

At times, I feel a lot better that I start to think that I no longer need my therapist but I still make schedules with her and every time I go to my therapy sessions I always learn something new and that makes me realize that therapy is not a ten-session meeting and then you’re a whole new better person. It is a continuous process. I am learning a lot about myself more than I thought I could. I’ve learned that other than being an introvert who is not actually shy but prefers soothing solitude, I also am an empath hence I feel everything around me so deeply. I absorb people’s feelings which takes a toll on me most of the time that it is draining. Exhausting. Making me go back to my cocoon to recharge my introversion and drain off other people’s emotions off of me.

One way, and the best way so far, to relieve me of such burden is boundaries. As an introvert, an empath, and a private person, I need my walls to a certain level. I need my “healthy walls”. Perhaps a chest-level wall, low enough for human interaction and openness to possibilities, high enough to protect my mental health and my privacy.

In a world where people feed on social media, where you can see other people’s whole body for free without even knowing their name first, where people dress to cover only their private parts and expose the rest of their skin for the world to see and fantasize, where people lose their uniqueness in trying to copy one another for a sense of belongingness and acceptance, BEING PRIVATE IS RARE. And as I see it, being private nowadays is considered classy. So I have, as well, learned to protect my privacy. Although I also need love, affection, acceptance, belongingness and self-worth, I prefer to get it from the people who know my value and who value to me because it is more genuine and promising.

Speaking of class, I have embarked on a journey of improving myself in the etiquette and fashion category. It may sound bougie, I know. But when you are well-dressed and well-mannered, respect and better opportunities will naturally gravitate towards you.  I could not stress enough how important class is especially of a woman. Who would prefer a woman who swears at every beginning and end of her sentences over a lady who thinks before she speaks?

Self-improvement is the best project I’ve ever done so far and I’m still a work in progress and I’m already loving it.