My saving grace

She was not my favorite person in the beginning, and to be quite honest, I probably wouldn’t have given her a fair chance had she not been pregnant with my grandson.

I didn’t know that in the end of their story, she would be my peace.

My grandson, my son’s son, was born in 2016.

In that time, my son managed to stay sober for the most part.

Nothing out of control anyway.

I had no clue what love really was until that baby was born.

You always love your children, but your grandchildren.. oh that is a crazy different kind of love.

I remember being right outside the door when he cried his first cries, and I sobbed like a child myself.

I took the first pictures of my son and his son together.

But she was a wonderful mother.  Still is.  And she kept my sons addiction under control.

She didn’t want her son to have a drug addict as a father.

She wanted a big happy family.

My son was a good dad.  He loved being with my grandson, and loved being a dad in general.

I remember him telling me that he wanted his child to have both of his parents, and he would do anything to make sure that his family stayed in tact.

I jokingly told him ”I just want you to know who’s side I’ll be on if you guys every split up”.

In their end, it wasn’t a joke.

The drugs eventually got worse the last few months they were together.

He worked in a nursing home where it seemed everyone was taking something, and giving it to him as well.

Sobriety started to become a thing of the past, until it was a fleeting thought at best.

He was starting to have random seizures from pill use.  Then steadily, he rolled downhill.

She wasn’t on drugs.  All she wanted to be was a mother.

She fought so hard for my son.  For her son.  And in the end, the drugs won.

My son left in 2018.  He had began using meth again.

No one can say she didn’t try.  She was a warrior.  She wanted so bad for him to be clean.

When I asked her when he started getting really bad, she said ”I really don’t remember.  He kept me in the dark a lot, and I kinda let him.  It was to much to fight his addiction sometimes”

I understand.  She was working a full time job at work, and again at home.

When he left, she held herself together like a champion for my grandson.

I never once had to worry about him.

She moved on, is now in a stable relationship, but every day she’s still on my son’s side.

She was part of the reason he showed up here that night.

She sat on her porch with him and cried her eyes out, begging him to just go to his moms and get clean.

When my son came home and stayed sober, she was the first one to send him a 30 day sobriety chip.

She doesn’t hound him for child support, or put him down on his bad days.

She doesn’t play the blame game, or be petty in any way.

She’s giving him time to pick himself up and get back on his feet.

She brings my grandson here to him every weekend he’s off so that they can spend time together.

It’s an hour and 45 minutes to my house from hers.

She has never been petty.  I’ve never been punished for anything he has done.

Unfortunately that seems to happen alot in today’s world.

She actually went out of her way to make sure that I was able to spend time with him.

I’m sure the ending was terrible for her.  I can’t imagine it being any other way…

But….

She’s the first one who will hold him accountable.

She’s also the first one who will cheer on his victories.

I don’t know of anyone else who could have handled that relationship and it’s ending with such grace.

I love her.  I’m so very proud of her.  I’m so thankful my grandson has her.