*Passes Out*

So Austin and I have been dating only a month and a half. But it has felt like a lifetime. We have gone through so much already and are so open with each other and so close. That it feels like we have been together for years. And I’m soooo in love…

So Austin decided to ask me something. Like last week he asked what would I do if he proposed to me in 2 years? I almost choked on my gum and then started tearing up. He started apologizing over and over. I was like "No… They are happy tears!" I mean seriously what guy is going to say that?! Then he proceeded to tell me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and wanted to start a home with me and wanted me to be the mother of his children. Then told me he can’t wait to say to someone "Yea. These kids are amazing. And they are just like their mother." I almost died! I mean even now thinking about it I’m starting to tear up!

But then last night he asked me another question. Austin wants to go into the Marines. He asked me what if he waited to marry me till after he graduated and after he came back from the service. He told me he would be about 30. He asked how would I feel if he did that. I felt like my heart stopped. Cause I want so bad to spend the rest of my life with him! And what if something happens to him when he goes into the Marines!? I don’t know what I would do if I lost him! I told him I would be kind of disappointed and he said if I didn’t want him to go into the Marines. I don’t want him to go but at the same time I don’t want him to give up what he has planned his entire life for me. I don’t know what to do… I love him too much to watch him go and I love him too much to let him give up his dream.