So, Then

Let’s see:

• Sold my house.  Land contract.  Closed yesterday–woo hoo and hip hip hooray!
• Loving being nanny for my granddaughter.  She will be five months old at the end of this month.
• Moved in with my boyfriend.  M.  We are either both insane, or really love each other, you know, forever.
• Been working seven days a week.  Yesterday was my first day off in so long that I can’t even remember when the last one was.  M-F with the grandbaby and making dinners, then weekends cooking at the assisted living facility.

Gosh, have I learned a lot about how much of what I used to take for granted was "real", was (and is) really just my chosen way of perceiving things.

Perception vs really actually happening.

(Perception involves judging?)

Funny thing happened the other morning.  Asked M if he wanted another cup of coffee, "knowing" he would say no, perceiving that he says no to those kinds of questions because saying yes would make him feel like I was controlling him.  Had twinge of hmmm, anger?  Hurt feelings?  Sadness?  Then realized that he can say no about another cup of coffee for whatever reason he wants!  And I AM, in a way, trying to control if I feel any kind of push back feeling to his choice to say no.  Was a great realization for me!

He can do what he wants, and he will.  I want to offer something–he can decline my offer.  And that means nothing bad about him or me.

Okay, so this was a big moment for me, and can, of course, be applied to many more things than just the "Want another cup of coffee, honey?"

I say woo hoo and hip hip hooray, yep, about a lot of things today!