Content

it seems to me that i feel guilty if i feel content, but at the same time feel like i should be content

you know, the damned if you do, damned if you don’t, only it is my own judging thoughts doing the damning

guilt because

  • lazy
  • not living up to potential
  • 100 things i should be doing

strive to be content because

  • the way to be present in the moment
  • not grasping
  • at peace instead of mad at self for not being enough

it is obvious, if i think about it, that allowing myself to feel content is the loving way

eh?

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June 1, 2013

Do you have the voice of someone in your mind who is making you feel this guilt? One of your parents? Because that’s what it is for me — the voice of my mother (who still lives, BTW). I have stilled that voice, although I can still hear the echoes, but I do not let it control me anymore. When I used to hear it and try to please it, I was never happy. Life has much improved since I have driven itaway.

June 26, 2013
July 6, 2013

do what must be done, and make the most of the remainder…