Oh Hot Tub Time Machine

OH YUCK! I just remembered that I had an online diary from back in highschool and came to check it out again. Let’s just say I thought things were much more complicated than they were. Holy goodness I had to stop reading, it was just too painful lmao. Well I started this diary when I was 16 and I’m now 22…6 long years! The sad part of it is not a whole lot has changed about me lol! My life is very different but I’m pretty much the same old me. I have a 10 month old son, Jackson. He’s amazing! His father and I got pregnant 2 months after we broke up….story of my life. Ashley and I are cool now, not like great friends but we’re not mad at each other for anything at this point. Grant and I still talk, he’s engaged. So much to catch up on but I’ll do that as I go along.

So at the moment I’m single. Brad (Jackson’s father) and I broke up in Sept. of last year….we’ve been kind of on and off since. At the moment we’re sleeping together because the sex is amazing and we do still love each other. Buuutt we suck as a couple. Unfortunately the week before we started sleeping with each other again I started seeing some one named JR, so for a very short time I was sleeping with them both. I get a big F for failure on that one. But here’s what’s worse….Jr had a gf at the time (although I didn’t know about it until later), broke up with her for me, and got rejected because of Brad…..Now it gets even WORSE. I have an amazingly gorgeous neighbor named Brandon. He’s the kind of guy you just look at from afar because he’s way to beautiful to actually go for, plus I didn’t even think he new my name let alone have any sort of interest. WWWEEELLL apparently I was wrong. 2 days ago (friday) he came up and we were talking outside on the balcony, had a few glasses of wine and one thing led to another and he made a move. Now normailly I woud have put a stop to this…why? you ask….BECAUSE HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. But honestly, it was an opportunity that I might have never gotten again so I said YES SIR! It was pretty great, I must say. He had my heart racing, gave me goose bumps, and like 10000000000000 orgasms, lol we did it twice that night. So I’ve crossed over to dirty whore status and I’m surprisingly ok with this. I don’t plan on being with Brandon again, I dumped Jr and so that leaves Brad, who really is great in bed. I know this seems shallow….probably because it kind of is, but I’m a grown woman with serious needs lol, gotta scratch that itch some how.

 

P.S…….Grant wants to come see me this weekend. lol sadly I’m considering it.

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May 3, 2010

RYN: I wish you the best for your future with your child. I can’t imagine NOT accepting my girls and their children as mine. It’s sad to admit it, but I partially learned that from my own step-father’s LACK of acceptance, as well as from my mother’s acceptance of her step-children.