doug doug doug

so i talked to him for about an hour yesterday. I cant tell if things are weird or not….sometimes i think they might be and some times i think they’re not…at least we’re talking i guess. Honestly tho i think its me thats making it weird because i didnt realize the extent of how i deeply i feel for him and it kinda freaked me out and i really care this time. I’ve had random hook ups where we both know it doesnt matter and i never think about it with any real feelings attached to it but this time i do and i cant pretend i havent fallen flat on my face for him. I dont know if i can get up from this one, but i have to because hes leaving soon and he will move on with his life and expect me to do the same. But it scares me because at this point i cant even think about it with out wanting to cry and he’s still here, imagine what it will be like when hes really gone….omg i cant even try. I just feel that i finally found something worth fighting for this time and now i wont even get the chance. all i know is that we will still talk when hes gone, he already said that himself so im holding him to it damn it!…..I havent known him long enough to be in love with him but i like him about as much as u can with out professing love that isnt good at all…..