yea I’m probably an idiot…

I’m sorry, maybe I’m just retarded and can’t stop my compulssions to do dumb things or say the wrong things and the right time. thats one things that I always screw up, it sounds perfect and I know exactly what I want and need to say in my head but somewhere between my brain, my spine, and my tounge it gets confused and twisted. and maybe I shouldn’t say anything at all. like I’ve wanted to tell you how I felt about you forever. I mean I thought you always kinda knew (I don’t know if you really did or not) and maybe some of the things I say come off to suttle when I try to hint towards a sign of those feelings. but like I said maybe I shouldn’t of said anything at all.

I know I’m not apart of your life now. and I don’t want to disrupt your life and cause anymore dramma then you need. I’m not like that, dramma sucks…I dunno maybe you are more apart of my life now that I can’t touch you…. blah