Some Confidence

Mom and I went to kickboxing this morning, then stopped at the gym on the way home and did 25 minutes on the elliptical machine on top of that!  We rock! 

Have you ever noticed that even the unattractive and/or over weight men on dating sites only want thin/athletic/fit/average women?  Basically, as long as you’re not fat… ugh, it’s annoying.  I mean, I understand there’s got to be an attraction, but sometimes it just ticks me off so much!  Then I wonder if I’m going to be all cinical when I fall into one of those categories.  I can just see it, one of those guys from the personal ads want to hook up, and I’d be all, nope, you didn’t want me before, so you don’t get me now!  Ok, that would only apply if it happened to be a guy that I’d contacted before who told me no thanks.  Um, I’m babbling…  The other funny thing is, I’ve got this half-cocked notion that I don’t really want to be with any one who’d be attracted to me at this weight because I don’t want to stay like this, and I wouldn’t want anyone around who’d be trying to sabotage me…  But then again… 

I joined in on a discussion board this weekend that was all about BBW’s and their admirers, and I’ve kinda started chatting with some guys on there, so who knows.  If nothing else, it’s a good confidence booster.   All ready I feel like it’s helped me to do something I ‘d never done before… get out on an empty dance floor and shake my ass! I wasn’t even drunk either! ~L~

As the story goes… I went out with some friends last night, and we were in this club that was fairly crowded, but no one was dancing. Then this song came on that by best friend LOVES, and she’s practically jumping up and down, saying come on, let’s dance! And I look over at the dance floor, and it’s empty, so I say, but no one else is dancing. She pouts, and I thought, what the hell! I told her all right, let’s go! and I take off to go dance. When I get there and turn around, she wasn’t there, and I’m standing by myself on an empty dance floor… I all most left, then I thought, fuck it, and just started dancing! (My friend eventually got her butt out there, she’d stopped to talk our other friend into dancing with us.)

My point is, I don’t think I would have gone onto an empty dance floor (much less stayed there!) If I hadn’t been thinking, here’s to all the guys who want to see me shake my ass (even the ones who won’t admit it!) and here’s for all the girls who want to be up here dancing but don’t have the courage to do it!  Oh, and sure enough, the dance floor filled up not long after that… I think those skinny girls thought if I had the guts to get up there like that, they could do it too!